My gawd. We ate dinner with her!

I did a little Hardy Boy snooping on IMDB, specifically the technical credits for Under Siege II: Dark Territory.



Combining that with a background check performed HERE I now have definitive proof that the Goalie Punisher's sister brought down the towers.
While he 'slept'.

You thought that you could get away with it.

Greasing the wheel!!

So as you know, the blog was originally designed as a way for me to post my drinking and exercising.
I burned my hand quite severely last week cooking a steak, so I was out for one week.

But much like Jason Vorhees, I'm back.

Set 1.
10 dips, 20 Roman chair sit ups, 10 bent rows, 10 giant box jumps, C&P 135# x 4

1 beer.

Set 2.
10 push ups, 20 Roman chair sit ups, 10 bent rows, 10 giant box jumps, C&P 135# x 4

1 beer.

Great googly moogly.
I'm either going to vomit or... well, vomiting seems the best option.

HFS I love Boxing

There should be at least 2 knockouts of these three fights, with a lot of action. I am giddy. If I have to miss the biggest fights in the last 10 years this weekend, then we must set a date for this set of fights.

Boxing 7/14

A combination of TWO previous posts

Dear reader, you may have seen our posts for both the Seinfeld Intern episode and the SNL Bad Idea Jeans episode.

To put those two ideas together, I give you the Greatest Bad Idea Internship Ever.

So at the Goalie Punisher's wedding, one of his new bride's former b-ball players, who is 18 and a photograper, apparently fell in love with the comedy duo that is the Admir0l and the Sidekick.
We saw through her charade, and immediately realized that not only was she a carpet muncher, she was also a blood sucker, aka a Lesbian Vampire. Cool!
The Curser invited her former player to poker on Thursdays, which seemed like a great idea to the Sidekick unt myself, seeing as our antics can now be recorded for posterity, as well as having our own personal White Horse drunk chauffeur.
Then it came to light that the Curser's lesbian vampire former player has Father Figure issues.
You may not be aware, but one of the Slap Bet Commissioner's Powers is the Voice of Reason.

There are few times when the Voice of Reason can defeat the Haze of Alcohol, but this is DEFINITELY one of those times.
THE POWER OF XENU COMPELS YOU!
THE POWER OF XENU COMPELS YOU!
THE POWER OF XENU COMPELS YOU!

So I was giving my mom shit ALL weekend

for sending me what I thought was the most confusing, odd email ever.
She's having an outpatient surgery on her foot...
STOP! Hammer-toe!
and I basically thought "Why in the holy hell is she telling me this?"

Sidekick edit: I think she was telling you:



Turns out, it was a secret code message for
"I'm gonna give you my pain pills"

HFS!!!!
Happy Mother's Day!

There comes a time...

When the jewels seek to sparkle
When the gold loses its luster
When the throne room becomes a prison
and all that is left is a father's love for his child.

My gawd. Truer words have never been spoken.
That's right, beeches, Conan is on AMC again.

Ha! Time enough for the Earth in the grave!

Ok, you have to admit.

There are times when I crack a joke that makes people chortle.
And then, there are times when I am so off the hook its just Cosmic.
Convincing myself that the Goalie Punisher was the mastermind behind 9/11 was chortle worthy.
Convincing myself that TDWTMB9/11 on his wedding day: Cosmic.

Man, that was good times.
Adding in the idea that G.P.'s sister (or should I say the next future ex-Mrs. Hudson) was part of the conspiracy: pure genius.

the mastermind?

is that 2 or 11?

how many?

The vaheenta

Almost as surreal as Hellraiser II

So several years ago, the Euphemism and I walked home from Pulcinella's, both a little tipsy, and turned on tv. This show was on Comedy Central, and we had absolutely NO F-ing clue what exactly was going on.
Eddie Murphy's brother was telling stories about hanging out w. Rick James & Prince.
I remember calling The Sidekick and basically screaming "TURN ON YOUR TV!"
How many times do your jaws actually hurt from laughing?
I mean, WOW, this was true comedy.
We all now realize that Dave Chapelle is a funny man, but at the time it was new and exciting.
What exactly did we call people before we called them beeches?
I dont know. Soiree?

No sports, no politics, just the greatest debate ever.

Biel, Beeches. All voters for Alba will be BAN-HAMMERED.

When Brian Williams looks the most presidential...

your party has to be fucked, right? Right? I mean this looks like some 'tard class photo from the 30's. I can't even listen to these people, not because of what they are saying, but because of how they look. Jeezus, this makes Dragon Con look like 'The Grotto'.

Update:
Oh, if only Barack could give up smoking...

Update 2:
I know Hillary just didn't refer to Sen. Obama as Barack; are they fucking BFF's?

Update 3:
Here comes the thumbs!

Update 4 -- I cant believe Im watching this crap. WHY DID YOU WAKE ME UP!
Anyhoo... yeah, Edwards is pathetic.

Update 5:
He's so dreamy.

Update 6:

JEEZUS FUCK! The Crypt Keeper!

Update - Yeah, the people on stage tonight will never be President. They are pitiful.
Where is Fred Thompson?

Update - What , Joe Biden, no baseball analogy?
Who in the holy hell is this dude?

Update:
Where the hell is Allan Keyes?

Update (RA) - Oh Hillary.
John Edwards is simply pathetic. Is he made of vagina?

Update:
Ha ha! How many damn justices will be appointed in the next 4 years.
PUNT IT BACK TO THE STATES BEEETCHES!

Update - Why is he even on the stage?
Ummm, which one? Hillary?

Last update:
I'm done, just can't take it anymore.


Yep. Last update. I know we're a sports blog, but here's my opinion.
Bill won because 10% or so of Republicans voted for Ears. IF that happens again, either Barak or Hillary would pull in the plurality and win. Otherwise, and I dont think its racist or sexist to say, no woman or black man is EVER going to be President.
Yes, people are sick of Bush, but he is not on the ballot. He will sit back for two years and be a punching back for Republicans to hit him, and probably HARD. Then, we see if 1 billion dollars can swing a single state. My bet is no.

Who doesn't love the Hugh Grant

So, what drives a man to throw a plastic tin of baked beans at a photog, and then to tell him that you hope his girlfriend and daughter get cancer and die?

Whatever the reason, I LOVE IT! We need more radically hostile celebrities! Bring them on; I need Hugh Laurie throwing legumes, Matthew Fox throwing macaroni, Tom Cruise throwing dead male hookers...whatever, you get the idea.

Now, granted I never really WORKED before...

and I have reached the big STOP sign at the end of the internet a few times, but the fact Gee had never seen
THE EVIL OVERLORD LIST
kind of stunned me.

Also, 6 weeks until The Sidekick and Big Russ are out of the clink and free on probation. Start practicing your 1st person shooter skillz now, cause those beeches are gonna be hammering down some Halo.

1988 Nobel Peace Prize.

United Nations Peace-Keeping Forces.

This is one of those awards that just sends me into conniptions of anger, violently flailing and RAGING against such complete utter jack-assery.
It takes a few seconds to sink in, then you realize: They must actually believe it.
Otherwise, it's like we're all Michael Douglas, and at some point we're going to end up with T-shirts that say:
"We wasted billions of dollars, helped facilitate the death or slavery of millions, evaporated our moral legitimacy for 60 years and all we got were these stupid shirts."


Nobel Peace Prize for 1988: Hippies, for staying so stoned they can't get angry.

OMG! I honestly believe Chicago is cursed.

Prior is out. Again. For the Season. Man, that REALLY sucks.
Q: Does he retire?

Another busy day @ work.

js8583(13:07:55): one day the whole world will speak portuguese and it will be a better one...hahhahaha
js8583(13:08:11): joking...
kh4796(13:08:34): Eu caí e eu não posso levantar-se !
js8583(13:08:50): levanta amigo....
bu1481(13:08:56): you know I don't know spanish, baxter

How could I forget The D!

So it might be a Battle Royale w. Cheese to find out who's calves are bigger:
Luke or KG's.
Somebody find out if KG is Polish-Italian!

LeP Rah Con

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nda_OSWeyn8&eurl=

Insomniac Movie Preferences: I or II

Horror Flicks
Jaws - I
Friday the 13th - II, although V is da bomb!
Nightmare on Elm Street - I
Halloween - I
Hellraiser - II, even though it is so surreal, I'm not sure I've really seen it.
Romero Zombie Movies - Dawn of the Dead
Scream - I (yes, I'm a big va-hinta and had to leave the theater)

Action/Adventure
Mad Max multiverse -- II
Superman - II (Zod, beeches!)
Star Wars - II (or V, however you label them)
Star Trek - II (CHAUN!!!)
Die Hard - I'm torn, but I'd go with II.
Alien - II
Kill Bill - Tough Choice, but II is too Talky. I it is!
Evil Dead - III which is II.
Lethal Weapon - II
Robocop - I'll say I, but in my heart, its NUKE!!!
Spiderman - II
The Mummy - I (This movie is a complete diamond in the rough. Love it!)

Arnoldy Goodness:
Predator - Heresy, but I REALLY like II.
Conan - I (Did they make a sequel?)
Terminator - I

Comedy
Caddy Shack - I
Police Academy - I
Ghost Busters - I
Austin Powers - II

1987 Nobel Peace Prize

President Óscar Arias Sánchez, for initiating peace negotiations in Central America.
These negotiations continued the work of John Matrix, who helped promote Peace in 1986 by ending a nascent reactionary invasion by a squad of goons led by Dan Heydaya.

Why, you may ask, was there so much war in Central America?
Dictators? Communists? Dictating communists?
NO!

Alien invaders.
The 1987 Nobel Peace Prize goes to Dutch Schaeffer, who proved that if it bleeds, we can kill it. Although, he actually ain't got time to bleed, because he's a sexual Tyrannosaurus.

What exactly happened to the air today?

Did some gigantic alien ship made entirely out of pollen fly over and spore our beloved North Kackolacky?
My allergies went BALLISTIC this afternoon.
I had to rummage through my medicine to find one blessed Loratodine.
That's right beeches. I buy generic. Suck it.

Not to stray too far from this blog's political nature, but back to drinking.

So, here it is: drinking songs 101 v.1

Thanks to the format prescribed by Mr. Gee, I have come up with 18 songs that I think could carry one through a nice night of drinking (pared down from an initial list of around 80 songs doing a quick run through of my itunes stuff). Let's get started:
N.B. - the subject headings are borrowed from the Mister Mixtape blog, hopefully he does not mind.

the startup
these are the songs that start your drinking session off on the right foot. they get you pumped up and ready to drink. they should be loud, raucous, and lively. my recommendations:

1) Little Green Bag - George Baker. As mentioned earlier, this song is simply too cool for school. If it doesn't make you want to put on a black suit and shoot up a jewelry store, I don't know what's wrong with you.

2) Drunken Lullabies - Flogging Molly. Keeps with the theme of drinking, has a bit of an edge to it, and absofuckinglutely rocks.

3) The House is Rockin - SRV. Begins to meld into the singalong section, which is OK by me. Seems appropriate for the night ahead.

4) Express Yourself - NWA. Words cannot describe how much I love this song.

the singalongs
these are the songs that will get people even more drunk, the songs that keep the party going, the instigators. songs like:

1) You - Candlebox. Unfortunately, the next four songs really give away my age (although I have saved a classic for near the end). Everyone in their early 30's (maybe even the 'Guar, though he's a baby) can scream this song at the top of their lungs and no one gets upset.

2) Wanted: Dead or Alive - Bon Jovi. Another screamer, if you will. Who doesn't love the ex Mr. Heather Locklear. This one is especially good if you can get the slightly quieter acoustic version.

3) Tiny Dancer - Elton John. Admittedly, not the most original choice after being featured in 'Almost Famous', but dammit, everyone knows the words, it's in an octave everyone can sing, and it's Sir Elton Fucking John (although I do prefer 'Your Song' in this spot, I don't think that everyone knows the words to that one)!

4) I've Got a Feeling - The Beatles. I've already let my feelings be known on this one; great song, and wonderful in that 'Louie, Louie' kind of way in that no one really knows all the words so you can mumble your way through and be OK.

5) Mr. Brownstone - GnR. Angry, loud, gets you out of your seat as you scream along with Axel; it's the perfect transition to...

the dance party
these are the songs that play and will have you doing lewd dances with all your friends (and possibly previous employers). Songs that get my booty shaking would be:

1) Freedom '90 - George Michael. The Admir0l doesn't do much right, but dancing to this song is one of those them. Sweet sassy molassey, pay grandma for the rubdown as he shakes his hips to this one. There is no other song on the planet that 10 (relatively) straight males can dance to in a dorm room and not feel the least bit odd.

2) Hey Ladies - The Beastie Boys. From the late 80's/early 90's comes this gem from the best album of the generation. The only thing better than the song is the video with the drum break of 'Free. James. Brown.' Speaking of which...

3) Sex Machine - James Brown. No, not one of the good guys in 'From Dusk til Dawn'. The 'Godfather of Soul'. My first year of teaching, I told the DJ at the prom that this is the only song I would dance to, needless to say, there was no 'sidekick action' at the prom.

4) Transformer - Gnarls Barkley. One of the best blind purchases I've made (Xenu bless allofmp3). This album rocks all kind of funktasticness, and this song with it's crazy syncopation personifies it (even better than everyone's favorite track off this album 'Crazy').

5) Franklin's Tower - Grateful Dead (take your pick as to which performance). This is one of the few 'hippie music' songs that can really get me groovin' (although that could generally be laid at the feet of some sort of chemical inducement).

After all that dancing, there's only one thing left:

the winddown
a culmination of the night…somewhat sorrowful, somewhat mournful, but still beautiful songs none the less. grab a whiskey to go with the beer and try out:

1) Overkill - Colin Hay. Fans of 'Scrubs' will know this isn't the lovable scamp from 'Men at Work'. This song is stripped down and about the pain and doubt that can enter one's life. Good times.

2) If I Ever Leave This world alive - Flogging Molly. Another track from TBFBITW (the best fucking band in the world for the uninitiated). Don't know where to begin with this one; great songwriting, great execution, not too over the top in angst. Like a good whiskey neat; tasty but doesn't hang around too long to become annoying (unless you drink like a fuckin' baby). The only downside to this song is the awkward line 'I'll be here when it all gets weird.

3) All Night Thing - Temple of the Dog. This is a perfect end of the night song. Little slow and laid back, but it's got Cornell and you know at any moment it could rock out. Plus the lyrics just fit the end of the night (much better than the fucktard song 'Closing Time' by Supersonic).

4)Bittersweet - Big Head Todd and the Monsters. So, once again I may be belying my age; but is there a better 'hey, let's keep it slow and unhappy' group than BHTatM?

5) Misguided Angel - Cowboy Junkies (my wife really pushed for Sweet Jane). The undisputed king of the 'it's 3 in the morning and I need to cut myself' bands is the Cowboy Junkies (they just look at these current emo fucks and think... 'Fags', not that there's anything wrong with that). Once you hear this song, YOU ARE DONE. It's depressing, it's slow, and once you hear Ms. Timmon's words you don't want to do anything ever again. Wrap it up, shut it down, the good Lord says you're fucked! Go to bed, sleep it off, and wake up again to try it again.

Well, that's my list; hope you enjoyed it. Like to thank the Admir0l and Mr. Gee for gestating the idea. The thing I enjoyed the most is that I got to go back through a portion of my music catalog listening to things that I hadn't listened to in quite some time to figure out if they fit.

Honestly, now that I've typed this out, there are probably 10-15 changes that I'd make, plus another 20-30 comments that I'd like to make on songs that I'd either include or exclude.

Don't worry, fair reader; we are no more a music blog than a sports or politics blog, so soon I'll be back to posting wacky youtube links. Mainly because this was a lot of fucking work.

Now that the governement is getting serious...

about reforming prisons and reducing "man-love", its time to get serious about committing crimes that might land one in prison.

Come on!
Getting butt-rumpled is the one great fear that keeps people like me from seriously considering robbing a bank.
I say, encourage MORE prison rape!
Keep educated white males scared shitless, otherwise, we're out of control.

Until his untimely demise, I had always assumed that if I needed something done that MIGHT land me in jail, I could rely on the Admir0l or one of his Black Piston buddies to do the dirty deed for me.
Now, I'm guessing that Big Russ is my fall-back option.

Here's what I've been thinking about - and I've discussed w. T Bone & Gee: Using acid to break into banks. Seems improbable, yes, but it's what one thinks of while putting the lotion on it's skin.

Question of the day: What acts as a catalyst for acids?
Anyone? Anyone?

How could I forget!

Just about anything by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes.

All their songs - Everyone knows the lyrics.
They may even cover Jimmy Buffet!

Euchre + Drinking tune

1986 Nobel Peace Prize

Elie Wiesel

Remember what I said about Apartheid?
I would give an Honorable Mention to Simon Wiesenthal, but we already discussed his efforts to end a Hitler cloning project in Argentina.

1985 Nobel Peace Prize

International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War, Boston.

What a bunch of cheese-eating surrender monkeys.

In 1985, one man took it upon himself to rid the world of a tin-pot dictator, thereby ensuring Peace in Central America.
1985 Nobel Peace Prize goes to John Matrix.



***Site Admin Note***
Some questions have been raised about the possibility of non-Americans or even actual persons winning Nobel Peace Prizes.
To that, I say: We bought the Peace, we get the awards.
Also, in an effort to not just give the awards from '81 until '89 to Ronaldus Rex, I have gone out of my way to find other Peacemakers.

1984 Nobel Peace Prize

Bishop Desmond Mpilo Tutu

There are some things that it is hard to find any humor in.
Apartheid fits the bill.
Lets just move along.

No shitting. This is my idea of a drinking song.

Especially since Waylon is three sheets to the wind singing it.

So the 80's didnt get to Canada until '93

How I Met Your Mother - Very funny.
Slap bet - Very painful.

And yet another GREAT drinking song.

Everybody knows the words - Check.
No Jimmy Buffet - Check.




*** SITE ADMIN NOTICE ***
There have been some rumblings, complaints that Lionel Richie is not "drinking material", nor are lesser known songs. Fair enough.

Imbidus Rex - King of the Drinking Songs

***Site Admin Notice ***
There have been some complaints that ABBA isn't drinking material.
Bullshit.
You know that you know all the words and you'll sing it like a mutha when you're drunk.
And just to prove the point...

Continuing the drinking song theme...

So I'm looking through my music coming up with a list. Trying to limit this to a reasonable number is getting to be a wee bit difficult. I don't know if that's because I'm not discerning or I just like to drink to a shitload of music.

Anyway, work in progress list:

All Night Thing - Temple of the Dog (one of the Admir0l's faves and just an all around great song)

I've Got A Feeling - The Beatles (I'm a big believer in drunk singing, and this song is extremely singable, also this group is one of the few reasons why I believe there may be a god; hopefully Cthulu or Odin).


Little Green Bag - George Baker (this song is simply too cool to not include).

Wanted (Dead or Alive) - Bon Jovi (acoustic if you can get it, singability is once again a factor with this song, you can also substitute in Living On A Prayer in a pinch).


Save the Last Dance For Me - The Drifters (oldy but a goody, great way to wind down a night).

Ummm, so this is going to be kind of a long list now that I start to look at things, so we'll call this a first draft. I'm thinking I'm going to limit myself to 7-10 songs and work from there, so some of these may have to go and others will be added.

Great idea both Mr. Gee and Admir0l.

Recommendation by Gee - Top Drinking Tunes

Mine would be:
Straight to Hell - Drivin & Cryin
You Never Even Call Me by My Name - D.A.C.
One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer - George Thurogood

And of course....

Little dark, but...

here it is! The Slap Bet!

Pearls of wisdom.

Why is it funny when other kids do this?

Karma Police

Much like the goat bites Fat Gerapito's ear off, so go small children in China. Different than bears in the sense that bears attack without provocation.

Watch Out Gerapito!

It might be a bad week.

Ansel has been fairly sick for the past three weeks, and things aren't looking good.
Wish him well.

This is going to end badly.

Kevrodamus does not see 1001 days in the future for these two.

Idiots.

You just got knocked the f*** out!

So the Sidekick scored Dark Tower

I guess I need to wait until some babe drops this on me.



Greatest action playset ever, and I had two. Suck it, beeches.

So Diane Lane, elder babe....

What you may not be aware of is that she is in fact 42, not the more logical 44.

SO....

If you are unfamiliar with the concept of a slap bet, there are the betees, and the Slap Bet Comissioner.

A wager is made, rules are agreed up, the Comissioner decides the winner, and the Slaps are delivered.

Let me just say, having like 9 beers in me made the whole situation much more tolerable.

The Stein and the Hudson

Night out!

The Admir0l rockin' out.

For those interested: 'Sweet Child o' Mine' on Medium.

I've found Greg's new wallpaper.

I'm not sure if I want to know the story behind this pic, or if in the middle of hearing/reading it, I would just pass out and begin bleeding from my eyes.

Just like Daddy

My wife goes downstairs to make coffee and the pup is in her pen. She is very excited to see my wife, but her pen is 36" high. Of course after watching her Daddy, she decides to jam her hands into the pen and climb up the fence with only her arms, using no legs and get outs. She knows its all about the upper body.

Who cares? His tears cure cancer.

I just put the link to the story which also has the video. The video is 10 minutes so its a bit too long to embed.

Mario Williams: Are you going to tell him to slow down?

Spring Cleaning.

So Moms is coming into town for a metric shitload of house cleaning, in preparation for the Cinco De Mayo shin-dig.
Hopefully, she wont drive me completely nuts.
KIT...KIT...KIT

Why I have no pity for VT "survivors"

I give you - The VT Dept of English website.
Psychobabble crap.
If this is what he was being taught, no wonder he went insane.

Completely OT, Scarlett Johansen is in 8 Legged Freaks.
As is Kari Wuhrer.

I've held my tongue long enough.

I just can't do it anymore...every single one of you needs to subscribe to the Tony Kornheiser podcast! This is easily the funniest radio program in all of the land.

A primer for those that need it:

Tony (the unofficial website)

1983 Nobel Peace Prize

Lech Wałęsa.

Now this is a pony I can hook my wagon on.
As a child, I was confused as to why a communist country would NEED unions (which I loathe).
"But Pappa, I thought all the citizens in a socialist republic are equal."

So George would take me aside, tell a racist joke, and then say "Boy, commies are liars."

Lech Walesa, keeping it real in 1983. Beeches.

1982 Nobel Peace Prize

Alva Myrdal (Sweden) and Alfonso García Robles (Mexico)
"Delegates to the United Nations General Assembly on Disarmament"

This week, historically ( Hitler's birthday, OK City, Columbine, VT, Earth Day ), should teach us that peace is never given, it is earned.

1982 Nobel Peace Prize (posthumously awarded) - Samuel Colt, the Great Equalizer

1981 Nobel Peace Prize

The Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees.

So many things are so wrong with this. Since 1948, this group of bureaucrats, aided and abetted by Arab governments (and ours), has kept generations of make believe 'Palestinians' trapped in camps, giving them the illusion that they will someday return 'home'. They all have their little door keys to their abandoned houses. Blech.
Uncle Screwtape couldn't write a better script about how to foster misery, hatred and violence.
Which comes to the main point - Any of the valid winners of this so-called award should use the ceremony to express their contempt at being lumped in with terrorists and thugs, whether jack booted or white gloved. It's some kind of Bizarro award.

So, at a low point in Nobel Peace Prize history, the 1980 prize goes to Captain Needa, Admiral Ozzel, General Veers, Admiral Piett, Darth Vader and Emporer Palpatine.
The Empire has struck back.

1980 Nobel Peace Prize

Adolfo Pérez Esquivel - Ugghh.

Look, it was only a Dirty War because the duly elected government was trying to root out all the Nazis that were attempting to clone Hitler. Once they caught Gregory Peck and fed him to the dogs, things were fairly kosher.


1980 Nobel Peace Prize - US National Hockey Team, for proving to us that dreams really can come true. Unless you're an Argentinian who dreams of cloning Hitler.

Confirming again my #1 rule in life.

You cannot drown, be eaten by sharks or be way-laid by pirates if you never go out on the ocean. (Well, the odds are in your favor)

LINK





Haven't these people ever seen "Clear and Present Danger" ?

Powered by ScribeFire.

Pope revises Limbo, hope for unbaptized babies!

VATICAN CITY (AP) — Pope Benedict XVI has reversed centuries of traditional Roman Catholic teaching on Limbo, approving a Vatican report released Friday that says there were "serious" grounds to hope that children who die without being baptized can go to heaven.
Taking the lead from Gary Gygax, Benedict has published the following rules for unbaptized children:

-1 on all intelligence, wisdom, and charisma checks for all non-lawful, non-chaotic creatures
-2 on all intelligence, wisdom, and charisma checks for all lawful creatures
Good-based spells (non-lawful) are unaffected.
Evil-based spells (non-lawful) are unaffected.
Law-based spells simply fail.
Chaos-based spells work as if caster were 4 levels higher.

Many critics are upset that this third round of Limbo's revision has strayed away from the original, first teachings.

Normally, I dont like speaking ill of others...

But this dude is a jack-hole.

"Authorities released a search warrant listing the items found in Cho's dorm room. Not a single video game, console or gaming gadget was on the list, though a computer was confiscated. And in an interview with Chris Matthews of "Hardball," Cho's university suite-mate said he had never seen Cho play video games.

None of this seems to matter to Thompson.

"This is not rocket science. When a kid who has never killed anyone in his life goes on a rampage and looks like the Terminator, he's a video gamer," he told MSNBC.com."

LINK

My first thought is - why do they even give cranks like him a forum?
It's a good thing I quit watching NBC two years ago to protest the '08 Olympics in China.

I'm not saying you should vote for him

But Fred Thomspson's middle name... Dalton.

He'll solve all our nation's problem with a round house kick, and make sweet love to his wife on the White House roof.

Question for you nature lovers

What bird or animal was Patrick Swayze trying to imitate in 'Red Dawn' ?
Why didn't they communicate w. a wolverine growl? Maybe its just me.

Oh, C. Thomas Howell is about to eat it.
If only someone @ Hokie-town had thrown on their scarf and spit in the face of death.
"HOKIES!!!!"

*** Site Admin Note ***
So, we have our first non-member visitor.
Capt. Shitknife of blinkingline.typepad.com and mistermixtape.org has graced us with his presence, offered constructive criticism for the use of vulgarity, and of course pimped my firefox out with lots of nifty extensions.

Alec Baldwin - Father of the Year.

Update to follow.

He's the champ, Ha Ha!

Dammit, I love Arn Anderson


Whoooooo!!!!!!



Now we go to school!

1979 - only ONE person disagrees.

So if you are not familiar with my favorite drunken pundit, you need to become aware of how absolutely fabulous Christopher Hitchens is.
Day in, day out the man is a wonderful writer.
Except for one topic.
Apparently, he hates the 1979 winner of the Nobel Peace Prize,everyone's favorite Dalmation, Mother Teresa.

1978 Nobel Peace Prize. I'm torn.

President Mohamed Anwar Al-Sadat (Egypt)
and
Prime Minister Menachem Begin (Israel)

So you may not be aware, but the US pays BOTH the Egyptians and Israelis around 2 Billion a year to remain at peace. Make of that what you will.

However, only one man in 1978 was capable of actually enforcing his will and bringing true peace to the world.

1978 Nobel Peace Prize - Superman.

That's right beeches - not an American.

Who doesn't love the youtube?

Featuring Nobel Prize Winner Jimmy Carter

Question for the 'guar...

So, is the 'Sniper' account like 'Mac's' fantasy football team?

Greasing the wheel -- 3rd set. But more important..

Red Dawn is on.

For those of you who may not be aware, the DVD of Red Dawn has a French version.
They surrender in the first 10 minutes.

Le Badgers!

Initially, I was going to live blog 'Red Dawn' but I am too drunk and too tired to pay attention.
But lets just put it out there: This movie is easily better than 'St. Elmo's Fire"

Side note: The father of Matt and Jeb - first victim of the Alien.

1977. Where to begin.

1977 Nobel Peace Prize -- Amnesty International, London

Uggh. Vomiting emoticon.
Here's my problem - they only complain about torture they disagree with, not that which they are fellow travelers of.
NO NOBEL FOR YOU!

Now, some may say I am American-ocentric with my awarding of the Peace Prize, or that I am giving it to "non-existent beings".
F them in the A.

There is only one person who got enough Southerners drunk enough where they couldn't fight, resulting in 110 years of Post-Civil War Peace.

That's right. Nobel Peace Prize for 1977 goes to Bo Darville.
The Bandit.

East bound and down, beeches.

So for those of you unfamiliar w. the Admiral

This is completely in honor of the Seinfeld episode "The Stand-In".

The Admiral once provided me this advice for picking up hookers:
Take it out.

If they touch it, they're a hooker.

If they don't, they're a cop.

It's those little life lessons that make his loss such a tragedy.

Greasing the wheel!!

2nd set.

20 dips.
20 pushups.
10 bent rows x 135#
3 Clean & Press x 135#

HFS I am tired. I may pass out.

1976. What a year for a Nobel Prize.

So 1976 is a special year. The Crusader Kingdoms in the Holy Land, born of an effort to free the citizens from the yoke of Moslem oppression (and, unforgivably slaying thousands of the Chosen and burning the library of Constantinople), that Kingdom lasted less than 200 years.
In 1976, we celebrated America: winner of the two Great Wars, one of 2 countries in the history of civilization to stand up and say "Slavery is Wrong!".
So many other great things. And yet... 1976 was a tough year.
Richard the I was Impeached and driven out of office, to be replaced by, as you will see, the low point of Nobel Prizes.
The Commies won all the medals at the 1976 games.
The country was at a nadir.
Who, the country cried out, could bring peace to this troubled land?
One man.

The winner, for the 1976 Nobel Peace Prize: Rocky Balboa.

Sloths!

They sleep 18 hours but they always party 24!

Dick in a Box!

I don't believe this has been put up yet, but we have the original uncensored and the Live version. Sloths are coming up next!

I'm done beetches.

I know that I said this earlier this year, but now I mean it. Sam Adams (brewer and patriot) has told me that the summer is here:

Nobel Peace Prize, 1975

1975 Andrei Dmitrievich Sakharov (USSR)

Again, no argument.

I'm very excited about 1976. Many choices, only 1 possible winner!


***SITE ADMIN NOTE***
There has been some discussion that the "25 years of Nobel Prizes" actually goes back 35 years. This is only and issue for persons with degrees from "University ofs" and small minded bigots who would call the #2 women's team in the nation "nappy headed hos". The site admin will not tolerate such bigotry!

Greasing the wheel!!

Ok, so following Pavel's proven training methods, I pushed myself to the limits of Hudsondom today.

21 dips.
21 pushups.
10 bent rows x 135#
3 Clean & Press x 135#

I am one sore beech. Thats 1 set. Suck it.
Someone go get me some beer!

SATURDAY NIGHT DRINKING MUTHERFUCKERS!!!!!

In celebration of our boy Il Tino getting hitched next weekend, we are taking him out on Sat. night for a round of drinking and punching things.

I've invited Big Russ, since The Guar intends to put his plan of getting us into a bar fight into motion. All are invited to wish 'T' well in the joys of wedded bliss.

Another busy day @ work

kh4796 Ext 0603(09:08:38): so my new dot sig is gonna be "If Gee says it once, I should listen. If he says it twice, he's telling me I didnt listen the first time"
Gee(09:08:50): NICE!

information vs bait

the problem with mainstream media is its development as a economic entity rather than an informative body. These bitches will do anything to sell ad time; report news, alter the reporting of news, write "news". They feel that they have to attract audiences rather than report events and share informed opinions. Wouldn't a good story sell itself? It does, but everyone has reasonable access to the actual available information, which may not be juicy. And you have to prove to your clients that you are pulling a certain amount of the target audience. So instead of reporting events occuring, they've got to spin stories that attract an audience rather than share impartial witness to events as they unfold to sell ad time. I don't think a one of them is immune to the process now. Even the f-ing weather channel started "it could happen tomorrow" shows to attract audiences. . .

So how does an educated constituency get real information without the compromised system?

I share Greg's sentiments regarding the networks, but it's like water. Sure it's loaded in arsenic and PCB's from the assholes upstream, but a body's gotta have water.

1974 - first of the jack booted thugs!

Seán MacBride.

What is the f-ing obsession with giving terrorists any kind of forum?
At one point this fuck was President of the UN General Assembly and a founding member of Amnesty International. That should give a hint about the moral authority of those august bodies.

Lets see... 1974...

Ok, we'll give it to a son of Eire. Chief Michael O'Hallorhan, who, along with a band of intrepid fire-fighters, sought to save 300 guests trapped on a building's 135th floor, including a Senator and a Mayor.

1974 Nobel Peace Prize goes to Steve McQueen, and Best Supporting Peace Prize goes to OJ Simpson.

1973 Nobel Peace Prize.

Secretary of State Henry A. Kissinger

Well, no argument here. We can just move along.

1972 Nobel Peace Prize.

Not awarded

Lets see....
In 1973, a small country in South America was falling into anarchy after the Socialist dictator used his ill gotten powers to destroy his country.
One man rose to the occasion!
One man stood in the path of Salvador Allende and said "Stop!"

Winner, 1972 Nobel Peace Prize goes to Augusto Pinochet, for promoting order in a time of chaos, peace in a time of war.

NEXT!

Coming soon. By request.

I will be counting down and ranking the Nobel Peace Prizes from the past 25 years.
Just to give you a heads up - The three most deserving men & one Iron Lady are not on the list.

Wow. Ann never fails to deliver.

"Virginia Tech is a Gun-Free School Zone -- at least until last Monday. The gunman must not have known. Imagine his embarrassment! Perhaps there should be signs."

That's our girl.

By the way - Amante's wings = Dee-lish.

Looks like Mack-adocious's first D&D Con....

Will NOT be in Hot-lanta, or even up at Lake Geneva.
Instead, the Sidekick and I will be taking The Boy to Ziggurat Con

I bet Saddam had gold plated d20s.
And a +18 soul-sucking blade.

A long time ago, on a Moutain far, far away...

And so it begins.... welcome broke back to 2005.

Do I feel like Frampton? In '79? Yes.

And how exactly does he come alive? The Re-Animator?



I wish I could quit you, Re-Animator!

Anyone who orders me some wings will get a free sombrero @ the Cinco de Mayo party.

Why does John McCain keep sending me crap?

How many times do I have to call their f-ing office and tell them that there is abso-fucking-lutely no way in Hell, Hades, Acheron, Avernus, Carceri, the Grey Waste, and the Abyss that I will ever vote for that Great American, Marginal Republican, and Terrible Conservative?

Apparently, 8 times isn't the magic number.

Only down side of having braces off

I had to take MASSIVE amounts of antibiotics, so I cant drink.

NOTE: Hydrocodone has no alcohol in it!
If you need to get a-hold of me, I may be incog-burrito for a while.

That's right beeches. The pearly whites are free.

As soon as the Euphemism loans me my camera (LOOOONNNNGGG story) I will post a picture of what 5 grand buys you these days.

And its not Rosie O'Donnels vagina-ectomy.

Excellent -- I see the Sniper has joined us!

Anyone who has a digital version of the rules for D&D, try to post them, so when her son starts playing, she'll have some idea what he is talking about.

And I dont mean no 3rd edition crap.
Homey don't play that!

One thing about the VT massacre that bugs me...

Why do they keep referring to the students as "children" ?
They can vote.
They can serve in the armed forces.
Many can buy hooch.
Some can rent cars.

They're not fucking infants.

Not that I watch it, but how long until Oprah does a show about it?
Much like the Nappy Headed Hos, what exactly did the "children" at VT do that would be considered special?
Nothing. Only 1 professor so far is known to have resisted.
And yet now there are 25,000 'survivors'.
It's another case of "I'm special just because I exist."
Whatever.

I guess what I'm asking is: Where were the Heroes?
Why didn't anyone say "Let's Roll!" and jump the fucker?
Where was the Hokie Arland D. Williams, Jr. ?

Magic, the Stumbling

Round 1

Round 2

So it might be just me....

I know Tzom has a copy of Monsters of Rock. I have a copy.
But a commercial just came on - they are selling the EXACT same crappy album that they sold me 10 years ago.

I like it when you call me big Papi.

I don't know how to feel about this.

LINK

Jackass Bo Sox /slash/ Pats Fans.

Honestly, we all know that the Admiral, who beat the holy hell out of a chick for giving him onions on his burger, would not have thrown fuckin pizza.

Can the barber separate his thumb and finger?

"Edwards, whose wind-swept look has drawn its share of comment in the presidential race, evidently took time out from his campaign to stop for a haircut.

But this wasn't your basic barber shop. Rather, Edwards apparently visited Torrenueva Hair Designs in Beverly Hills, owned by celebrity stylist Joseph Torrenueva. And he paid Rodeo Drive prices. Twice.

According to his campaign finance report, Edwards' campaign spent $400 at the salon on Feb. 20. Two weeks later, it spent another $400.

The reports did not say explicitly that it was Edwards who received the haircuts, and neither his campaign nor Torrenueva returned calls seeking comment."
____________________________________
Listen, my euphemism is a Board Certified Veterinarian. She can easily give him a flea dip, then nip that dew claw off of both his hands.

Israeli melons have AIDS

"Beware of Israeli melons infected with AIDS arriving in Saudi Arabia!" is the latest rumor being spread throughout Saudi Arabia like a wildfire.
An SMS message being sent around the country this week said, "The Saudi Interior Ministry warns its citizens of a truck loaded with AIDS infected melons that Israel brought into the country via a 'ground corridor.'"

Wow.

This is reputed to be the best joke EVAH...

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"

Greasing the wheel!!

Up to sets of 3 x 135# clean & press.

Another busy day @ work

Brandon(11:44:07): Sent: Tue Apr 17 11:44:07 EDT 2007 Recipients: [Multiple Recipients] This is quite possibly the worst day in Triage, people. Over 530 tickets for our group. That being said, I want you guys to know that I'm so proud of you and that I love you. We don't need an AT&T Columbine or Virginia Tech episode up in here, ok? Me and Kevin are giving out hugs, so if you feel like the world is coming to an end; feel free to get a free hug.

I still wouldn't have gotten an A.

GREATEST COLLEGE COURSE ... EVAH!

It all makes sense now

So for all of you who did not know, Pat Robertson has a college. Quite unbelievable for a televangilist talk show host! Yes I know, big deal so does Jerry Falwell.

Be patient and keep following.

In the US News World Report, its graduate schools are all rated as Tier 4, which is coincidentally the lowest rating you can get which basically says, yes we recognize the fact you are a college. Basically Pat Robertson's graduate schools are for those who couldn't get into Devry or University of Phoenix online.

Stay with me this required back story.

So what type of job would a graduate from this schools expect to get being that its so poorly ranked? Hmmmmm...........................

Wait for it
Wait for it
Wait for it.................

How about working for the Bush Administration! That's right over 150 graduates from this school work or have worked for the Bush Administration (Most currently in the news, Monica Goodling who is the Attorney General's counsel/liaison to the White House. She refuses to testify in the current scandal because she would implicate herself and the Attorney General), easily more than any other college or university. Good lord! I'm sorry but this President is so effing embarrassing

NCAA vs NBA: Girls analogy

**These are excerpts from a chat between Paul Shirley of multiple professional basketball team bench rider fame and random members of society.** Enjoy!

Member of Society: Paul, You said in your last column that you did not like the college game. What specifically don't you like about the college game and what makes the pro game so much better.

Paul Shirley: Imagine, if you will, a scenario wherein 370 institutions recruited the 12 best-looking girls they could conceivably talk into spending four years under their care. You'd have a group of several thousand really attractive girls, right? Now imagine that each year, another group of people (we'll call it a "league", for the sake of argument) drafted only a select few of that group each year, and added those few to rosters that were already chock-full of the best-looking girls in the world. You'd take a girl from the 12*370 group, but you'd probably rather have one from the latter, right?

(Interesting, go on)

Member of Society: Going back to the 'girl' scenario. I love college 'girls' and only watch the ?League of Girls? (LOG) come playoff time. Why?, because the college ?girls? love the game and they are all, theoretically, trying to perform to get into the LOG. The college ?girls? try harder and it is more competitive, they have everything to play for to make it to the LOG. My question AND point, is this; When was the last time you cried after a LOG game? Because when I watch girls I want passion and desire to win, not just the playoffs. (I do agree that the ?girls? are exploited and not rewarded for their efforts in the Billion dollar industry of college ?girls? and I have confused myself with the girl and LOG analogy so I hope you understand what I meant)

Paul Shirley: That was extraordinarily difficult to read. I will persevere all the same...Two things: I've never been a year-long starter on an NBA team, so I can't speak to how much I would care. I have played a significant role in a few games (with Chicago) and remember that I cared quite a lot. However, age and experience brings about the knowledge that there will be a next year. And while that knowledge means that fewer players cry, it doesn't necessarily mean that fewer players care.

(OK, then)

Member of Society: Hey Paul, I get the "best of the best-looking girls" analogy for NCAA vs. NBA, but let's say that the best looking girls that are selected by this "league" have received all this attention their whole lives for being so good looking, to the point where they have overly inflated egos and refuse to cooperate and work with others. Really, they only care about themselves, and if you were to go on a date with one, you would be forced to endure hours of self-absorbant babble. On the other hand, you could date one of the "non-league" girls, some one who is still very attractive but at the same time interesting, caring, and funny. She works well with others. That sounds like a better deal now doesn't it?

Paul Shirley: You make a strong point, sir. However, what if you were only watching the date, and not participating in it? You'd probably want to see the hot ones, eh?

Touche Paul Shirley. Kudos to you.

Let me just add

Anytime you lose 1/10 of a percent of your entire student body through means other than matriculation, you have a fucking mess on your hands.

Update:
Yep, heads will roll in the Virginia Legislature.
Gun Bill Gets Shot Down
Let me point out - I didn't write the headline.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!

My first thoughts here, live and untethered - the only reason shit like this happens is that people who obey the law get slaughtered like fucking lambs.
The kerfluffle that will arise over this is going to ignore that.
No doubts: The dude who did this was really truly insane or just plain evil, but nothing at all can stop people from shooting up a congested area except someone else with a gun.
It happened at Chapel Hill -- dudes with guns stopped the fucker.
You can't "ban" guns from a large area and be "shocked and stunned" when someone BREAKS THE FUCKING LAW and then slaughters, what, like 30 people.

Ask yourself: Why doesnt this EVER happen in the ghetto? Drive-byes happen, yes, but how many crazy fuckers walk into Church's Chicken and kill 30 brothas. Zeer-fuckin-ero.
Cause they are strapped.

An armed society is a polite society.

people who share names

Its the name game!

Einstein?

Should you be allowed to purchase a 600+ page Einstein auto-biography with his most famous papers on CD. Shouldn't you have to read this book if you want the information inside? Is a person really ok with having Einstein's most famous theories read to you like a bedtime story? I'm torn here.

so here's my neophyte attempt to put up a pic

Not sure if it worked at this moment, but I love the sick bids.

Eh, I fucked it up didn't I

Oh, I think I tried to post a copyrighted shot.

e-universe 2078: tom herndon -2

Another busy day @ work

jm8482(09:50:12): Site is in Dublin Ireland, Revenge of the Leprechauns
kh4796(09:51:00): CHAUN!!!!!!
gb4406(09:51:42): worst. pun. evar.

Life = Normal

So, I'm unpacked and the renovations are close enough to done that I can go out and play now. What have I missed over the last six months? I heard something about the Duke LaCrosse kids getting off? Is that true? Anyone?

When's the next poker night?

F... what you heard about the Greguar's demise

Don't call it a comeback. I been here for years! The power is back folks. It's all in the cardiovascular conditioning. Must run more to keep strength. Its obviously not hair that gives me power otherwise I would win World's Strongest Man.

Truly, a movie that let me down....

even more than Alien 3. Or Alien 4.

Alien vs. Predator.
Much ado about crap.

I promise it will be better than this!

This is for "The Hudson" aka my nappy headed ho.

Alraight I am on day three of the new steriod pack. I have lost a nice amount of sleep thus far and the pain is still kickin'. I realized that last time I didn't really come through with anything awesome when I was on the 'roids. So this time I kicked it up a knotch.

I quit smoking today. I has been about 17 hours now since I had a cigarette. I am sure that I am probably going to throttle the first person I see with a cigarette.

Hudson, if you want to follow me around for the next few days I will only charge $50/day.

teach me o ye gods

So my own laptop and truck are both purchased in 98. I haven't taken a computing class or course since 94? any tips on uploading photos and vids onto the blog. I've had some ideas other than descriptions of my day, but have no idea how to make them into reality. . .

tom

Wow. Buckle up.

"Do you know how we can tell the difference between people who were wearing their seatbelts and those who weren’t, at the scene of an automobile accident? The ones who were wearing their seatbelts are standing around saying “This really sucks,” and the ones who weren’t are kinda just lying there."

Enjoy.

Funniest thing evah!

So, I found this thing on the DARPA; I'm not sure that anyone has ever seen it, so be sure to send it out in emails to everyone you know! We'll be the first to laugh about this, and then all will be beholden to us! INTERTUBES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Movies that NEVER end... Live Blogging TV

Air Force One. Its like 3 friggin hours long. Sheesh.
If it was Air Force Awesome, it might be worth it.

I'm guessing it's Harrison Ford night at the Apollo.
The Fugitive "I'm innocent!" "I don't care!"
Truer words have never been spoken.

Clear and Present Danger
Mr. Clark = Tommy Lee Jones, not Willam Defoe.

Speed. OMG. So Dennis Hopper only wanted 10 million.
Dont you think the F-ing AIRPLANE that they blow up cost more than that?

Bourne Identity. NOTHING happens for 3 solid hours.
Its like the 10 Commandments with none of the action.

Look at the crappy line up on TNT this evening:
Under Siege & The Glimmer Man. General's Daughter.
Two of Ahnuld's finest: Running Man & Eraser.

I might as well go Talullah Bankhead tonight.

Sometimes, it takes a little time to love someone like I do.

But ask and you shall receive...

My thoughts on "National Treasure"

It's all an ego vehicle for Jon Voight, trying to show his estranged daughter that he too can do the action/adventure treasure finding movie.

Anything goes when it comes to hos...

Cause pimpin aint easy!

From Calvin Brodus, who looks like he'll be giving up his fruitcup soon.

"It's a completely different scenario," said Snoop, barking over the phone from a hotel room in L.A. "[Rappers] are not talking about no collegiate basketball girls who have made it to the next level in education and sports. We're talking about ho's that's in the 'hood that ain't doing sh--, that's trying to get a n---a for his money. These are two separate things. First of all, we ain't no old-ass white men that sit up on MSNBC going hard on black girls. We are rappers that have these songs coming from our minds and our souls that are relevant to what we feel. I will not let them mutha-----as say we in the same league as him."

Bitches aint shit but hos and tricks.

WE DIDN'T LISTEN!!!

It's coming from over there!
Now its over there!

Save yourselves!

WE DIDN'T LISTEN!!!

Just the sheer idiocy of that movie is so completely stunning.
But Sela Ward... so enchanting... can't resist sultry hot-ness.

For you music fans

www.mistermixtape.org

kh4796 Ext 0603(08:43:17): There is only 1 Captain Shitknife
Gee(08:40:34): true dat

OMG, I am quite drunk.

So the Sidekick & I knocked back a fair number of la cervesas whilst watching 300.

Then, I started drinking Jamesons & posting on Classmates.com
Some of you may remember that my pre-college claim to fame was being Mr. North Gaston '91, winner of my school's drag king contest.
My swimsuit was a diving suit, complete w. air tanks.
My evening gown was most likely short and slutty..
I lip-synced to "I Touch Myself" and, hands down, was declared the winner.

Now, the problem is, there is only ONE known copy of this video floating around. I have no doubt its been stored in a hermetically sealed vault, with motion sensors, vibration alarms, and bolt action flame throwers for protection. No doubt.

So I put out a call amongst everyone who had registered for my class between 89 and 93.
Quite a good use of my time.

I'm guessing that, much like "Hot Dog: The Movie" that the Mr. North Gaston '91 video is not quite as good as I remember, but I'm willing to take that chance.

As site admin, I admit: Not a Sports Blog.

BUT...

We are entering a mildly Golden Age.
NFL Draft on the 24th.
(Slap Bet - Tom Brady impregnates ANOTHER super hot chick this summer)
Hockey Playoffs.
NBA Playoffs.
Baseball (if you watch those fucking striking bitches)
and somewhere in June - Tour De France.

Good Times!

We can (and will) definitely argue the merits of shortened seasons later, but the next couple weeks are just F-ing great for sports. Then, Augustus rolls around and Wolfpack football is in the Hiz-ous!

Remember Us!

Go tell the Spartans passer by, by Spartan law, here we do lie!




What a fucking awesome movie!

Thank God the nightmare is over!

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2834191

On a side note, Dirty Work is really funny! Very underrated.

This is so stupidly out of control.

Fine. Imus has a long, documented history of being both racist, sexist, anti-semitic, etc...

But what, exactly, did the Rutgers women's team DO and why in the fuck would they need to go on Oprah and tell "their story"?

That, mon freres, is why civilization is failing.

To hell w. Jenna Jameson. My perfect woman...

has already gone to that Round Table in the sky.



Tallulah Brockman Bankhead
(January 31, 1902 - December 12, 1968)
"Codeine . . . bourbon...."

She became known for saying almost anything, whether true or not. Once, while in attendance at a party, a guest made a comment about rape, and Bankhead replied "I was raped in our driveway when I was eleven. You know darling, it was a terrible experience because we had all that gravel".

Beauty and the Beast

Of course Chuck screwed it up, got his finger in there. Even still this picture is so Beautimus that I'm not it can even be shown in public. Its like looking into the sun.

Overall the pictures aren't that good, so I'm not what else I'll post.

ANNOUNCEMENT.

THURSDAY. 300. BITCHES. MY. HOUSE. 7:00. THAT. IS. ALL.

sacred heart the new 4077?!

Hell Yeah.

I'm waiting for one of the characters to start sporting a Toledo Mud Hens baseball cap.

Skipped school today and worked on school work and house errands. Monday was a freakin' mess. Had to trash the minimal organization of stuff around the outer wall of the house for the termite dude to come in and drill a few dozen small holes in the slab. After the swarm, we're taking no chances.

So today I pulled a lot of it back into new places and worked on some school shit too.

I had such a good time, I'm doing it again tomorrow. . .

After 8 or 10 hours of slogging shit around and grading papers, I turn to the scrubs DVD's.

I don't know what my top five are at this point. I find so many great ones in the few dozen I've seen so far. . . I think after I cycle through the seasons another round. . .

The other funny things I am noting now are Scrubs actors in other movies. I never knew how much shit Dr. Cox has been in, but I am pretty sure I saw Carla in an early episode of the sopranos. . .

I left the dvd menu up for the last hour with the theme song running. . .

. . . Gotta break free to break the mold/I can't do this on my own/I know I'm no superman. . .

T-bone

On this day, 37 years ago...

The Rutles called it quits. Because of her.


Fuckin Nazis.

My super semen....

has made me the richest baby daddy EVAH!!!

Everything I needed to know in life...

I learned watching Aliens.

1) Always carry a spare clip.
2) Never throw away all of your grenades.
3) When Sarge tells you to stow your weapon, you politely tell him "No."
4) Elevators should be require more than insect sentience to operate.
5) Drop ship landing gears should have an auto-cleaning torch feature.

I know we're not normally a sports blog, but...

The Sidekick may find this interesting. It is the 50 anniversary Gold Glove team.

http://www.rawlingsgoldglove.com/Voting/Default.aspx

I love Arnold.

I will not apologize for speaking truth to power!

Jenna Jameson looks like total shit. I'm not very knowledgeable about porn, but she obviously is nothing more than a beard for Tito Ortiz, cause no man would want to sleep with that fug-beast.



Next, Sir Richard Attenbourough will grow her a set of brontosaur teeth and she'll start hanging out with Kirsten Dunst.

Everyone has to have a goal!

I think this one is going to be mine.


**** Note from site admin ****
If you copy the link that says "Embed" we dont have to needlessly open another tab to view the beau-tificious-ness of the car jumping.

Godless commies ate super-rabbits!!

The German breeder who sold 12 German Gray Giant rabbits to North Korea believes the planned breeding programme may have been canned after communist officials tucked into the oversized bunnies.

German pensioner Karl Szmolinsky was approached back in January by the North Korean embassy in Berlin after "attracting attention for breeding his country's largest rabbit". Szmolinsky subsequently supplied eight females and four males at £60 a head which were packed off to North Korea. Szmolinsky explained: "They want to boost meat production. They've arranged for me to go to Pyongyang in April to advise them on setting up a breeding farm."

However, Szmolinsky says the trip has now been cancelled, and suspects "it may be because communist officials have eaten the rabbits", according to The Telegraph. He admitted: "That's an assumption, not an assertion. But they're not getting any more. I think the animals aren't alive any more. I was due to go and inspect the animals and look at the facility. They kept delaying the trip. I would have liked to go."

Stressing his unilateral rabbit export embargo, Szmolinsky added: "North Korea won't be getting anything from me any more, they shouldn't even bother asking."

The North Korean embassy in Berlin has denied the rabbit feast claim. A spokesman said: "The rabbits aren't intended to be eaten, they are for breeding purposes."

A fully-fattened German Gray Giant can provide up to 15lb of meat - much-needed protein for a famine-stricken land. The Telegraph did spot one potentially fatal flaw in the breeding masterplan, though: since the monster rabbits are "voracious eaters", just how did the Pyongyang authorities intend to feed the beasts?

LINK

OMG! How could I have forgotten.

Groundhog Day.
I know at various points, its been as far up as #2.
I would assume, since I forgot, its #6 right now.

But... Great Movie, nonetheless.

And now, on to Chocolate Chunk Cookies.

Replacement Broadcast Team for Friday Night Fights

This is why you don't allow replacements for Joe Tessitore and Teddy Atlas. These two gentlemen were on assignment and were being replaced by Todd Harris of World's Strongest Man fame and the Light Heavyweight Champion of the World, Bernard Hopkins.

Here is the exact exchange between the two during the 4th round of the Joel Julio - Thomas Davis fight.

TH: There you see the punches in Round 4. There you go immediately Bernard, only three punches landed for Davis as we go to Bernard Hopkins scorecard. How you got it?

BH: Hey I got it you know 10-9 for Julio all the way throught the 4th round. I got a 10-8 round for Julio in the second round, because he basically had Davis you know on Queer Street ready to be knocked down, so I think he won that that round real big.

TH: Bewildered slience for 3 seconds...........

BH: Just as well been a knockdown because he had him on Queer Street in Round 2.

TH: Uh... Round 4 not a good one for Davis.

St. Pierre vs. Serra from UFC PPV

Wolf Man

This guy is like Remus or something. He raised these wolf pups to be wild rather than tame. I wonder to what lengths he really went to though.

Something for the Wolfpack fans out there.

**** ADMIN NOTE ****
Apparently, this will be on Mon @ 9 PM on channel 70. Enjoy

MC Rove

THis is pretty funny. It makes me go to happy place everytime i think about MC Rove. Some of my frat brothers saw this and were speechless.

Ask and yee shall receive!!!

Scrubs - My Overkill on Comedy Central as we speak.


As I've mentioned before: Cox breaks something - good times.

Before we tee off next time.

I know we're not normally a sports blog, but...

Hall of Famer? This is one of the favorite questions of the admiral, the 'guar, and I.

So, as I'm watching the A's game tonight, Mike Piazza attempts to leg out a double that he has no business trying to stretch beyond a single. I begin to think: HOFer?

Looking at the numbers: .309 Avg, 420 HR, 1300 RBI, .551 SLG, 145 OPS+

He seems like a HOFer from the numbers, but is he one of the guys who passes the "sniff test" (that is, do YOU think that his presence screams HOF?), that said, he did have the SCHWEET mullet:

I know we're not normally a sports blog, but...

the boys in Augusta have finally 'Tigerproofed' the course. All it took was no rain and 5 years; way to go boys!

Not Really Worth a Header, but.....

I think that this may be good. I mean has Delhomme ever been good? Even when he was taking the Panthers to the Super Bowl, was he that good? Carr has never had a good Offensive Line and has better physical skills than Delhomme, plus is younger.

Carr signs with Panthers

In response to the young woman.

I point you to this (even though it's a British site):

"Ask not what your country can do for you..."

Possible avatars for the admiral.

Add your suggestions so that we can get this man an avatar! Also, for some good, clean fun click on the first picture and check it out in its actual size.

Hey, when did the name of the blog change?

\/\/|-|3r3 7|-|3 |-|3LL 1$ /\/\'/ L337 $P34|

Wedded Bliss.

Apparently, I will be the officiant in a wedding ceremony at the end of the month.

Here in NC (the buckle end of the bible belt), all one has to do is say that one is a religious official, and that is enough in the eyes of the state.

Fortunately, in addition to simply saying that I'm a religious official, I also have a lovely printed certificate showing that I am a right reverend. I'm thinking of splurging and spending the extra $20 so that I can become a Doctor of Divinity; I'm just worried the certificate wouldn't come in time and I would hate to perform the ceremony under false pretenses.

WTF happened to "What can I do for my country?"

John and Elizabeth Edwards held a town hall meeting at the University of New Hampshire Monday. They were questioned by an undergraduate named Jenny Ballantine, who had this to say:

I need to be able to look to my leader and see words of encouragement, words of hope. I need to be able to trust that person. I need to be able to know that I'm going to be grow [sic in transcript] in a world that's not going to be full of hate and prejudice and racism and to know that I matter, that I wasn't just dumped in this world for no particular reason whatsoever.

I'm busting my ass in school, I work 25 to 30 hours a week, and it's just me and my dog. So what can you do for the people that are in my situation, that are trying their damnedest in school, wanting to go to grad school, is going to be hit with the loans--and, uh, I have no idea what I want to do when I grow up. I don't know what I want to be when I'm an adult. But I'm 22 right now, so people are like, "Honey, you are an adult." You know what? It's about me. It's about me voting for you or supporting somebody who's going to be the next president. So it's all about me right now. Just give me something.

Here is how the Edwardses responded:

Mr. Edwards: God bless you. If I were choosing a president, uh, that's what I'd be doing. I'd be looking for the specifics of what they want to do, because that matters, but I would also be judging them personally, because we need to trust our president.

Mrs. Edwards: I want to say something, too. I was really impressed with you, Jenny Ballantine, and I think probably everybody in this room was, and I want everybody in this room who believes that Jenny Ballantine is going to be able to do it to give her a round of applause.

AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO THINKS THIS WHINY *person* SHOULD BE SHOT?
What happened to "Bear any burden, pay any cost" ?
When did it become the responsibility of the federal government to take care of some *person* who is IN GRAD SCHOOL?
Obviously, whatever 2nd rate "University of" that this twit attends never had a course on the 10th Amendment.

And by the way, John Edwards has webbed thumbs.

***Vulgarity Edited out by the site administrator***
Lets keep it clean folks. For the children.

Ms. Ballentine's phone # is one of the following:
XXX REMOVED XXX
Please contact her and explain the 10th Amendment to her.

***Ms. Ballentine's home # removed by site administrator***
Look people, if I have to ban politics as well as sports, I'll do it.

****EXTRA****
The young lady went on Rush today, and they had an actual conversation.
Enjoy.

Sigh, I'm so weak.

Not physically, mind you (because of the crucible of iron that I like to call the kettlebell, soon I shall be hard like steel), but in regard to a certain video game where one is pretending to be a Guitar God. Yup, I have purchased yet another edition of Guitar Hero:

This time it is for the XBox 360, and you can blame Big Russ for this one; he brought it over to let me test drive it and the next thing you know, I'm in a Best Buy with a copy of it in my hands.


Now, if only the downloadable content will start showing up on the Marketplace...

I know what someone is getting for Xmas.

My plan to end Global Warming.

We invade Iran, or as I prefer to call it, "Persia".
They fight back w. a hail of arrows, blocking out the sun.
2 birds, 1 stone.
Carbon credits are for philosophers and boy lovers.
War is the only true way to end this threat.

By the way, how did it get so f-ing cold?

NBA MVP thoughts & the NFL draft

My question: Will the NBA ever let Kobe win the MVP?
I mean, come on, he'll basically accept the prize, look straight into the camera, smile and say "I did it. Right up the poop shoot."

NEXT!

So, my buddy at work, his bartender is throwing a shin-dig for the NFL draft on 28th at the City Beverage in Durham
Apparently, 20 beers on tap, and the owner's idea is to start at one end, work your way to the other. Sounds like a good idea. Also, I'm thinking that it might be a good idea to get White Horse to drive.

Greatests one liners in a Western, ever.

So Open Range gets on the list
"Are you the man what killed our friend?" BOOM!

Unforgiven gets several entries.
"My gawd, they cut up her cunny!"
"I DONT DESERVE TO DIE!" "Deservings got nothing to do with it."
"He had it comin!" "Yea kid, we all got it comin."
and of course
"I'll kill you wife, your kids, your dog and burn down your house."

But we all know whats coming. The Big Gun.
#1, all time best one liner from Western.
"By God Woodrow, whores got hearts too!"

Anticipating Pooler's sweatshop toliet story

Two quick things:

1.) I can't wait to hear Pooler's sweatshop toliet story.

2.) Genuinely excited about all the contributors who are now part of this blog and will be contributing countless hilarious stories over the intraweb as opposed to our infrequent personal interactions which produce a limited volume of stories due to the minimal amount of time we all spend together. This also means we get to hear a greater variety of stories, because we are constantly retelling the same good stories for those who have not heard them. Now this may mean we may never see each other again except for me, sniper, sidekick, commish, and rear due to the various Joo holidays we celebrate. (Yes I know the Rear isn't a Joo, but he really enjoys religious rituals of all types.) Now everyone is invited to dance the horah and eat the brisket with us on these occasions which would make sure we all see each other from time to time.

HFS!!! Dark Kingdom is on!

Okay, so as you may know, the Hudson loves the tragedies.

Sigfrid = tragedy.

Little background for you non-geeks.
So the whole Lord of the Rings stuff is basically a rip off of the Nibelungenlied.
My 4th grade teacher used to read us a chapter a week.
So Sigfrid is like Aragorn, only he doesnt know his father was a king.
He sees a meteor fall from the sky, and goes to investigate, like a Dark Age Hardy Boy.

There, he meets and defeats Brunhilda (of Bugs Bunny fame). They of course fall in love. Sigfrid makes a sword from the meteor and then goes on to kill Fafnir, Thee Dragon, and bathes in its blood, except for a spot on his back (hmmm... this sounds sort of like Achilles). This makes him nigh invulnerable, like the Tick.



Well, Sigfrid offers to aid a king, we'll call him Bob. Bob's sister loves the Big S, so she gives him a love potion, and he forgets Brunhilda (of Bugs Bunny fame).

So Bob decides to become king of Iceland, and goes to claim the country by defeating its warrior queen....BRUNHILDA!!!
Well, Bob isnt up to the task, so he asks Sigfrid, who, thanks to a mask found in the treasure of Fafnir, can assume the form of anyone. Sigfrid takes the shape of Bob, defeats Brunhilda (of Bugs Bunny fame) and then Bob is king of Iceland.

After that, things fall apart as they are apt to do in a tragedy.
Sigfrid is killed by Bob (a blow to the one spot on his back not bathed in Fafnir's blood), who is killed by Brunhilda.

All in all, quite wicked pissa.