MY GAWD!!!!!!

Turbaconducken!!!

Just a funny pic

caption time

Two levels above a slap bet.

more captions baby

Sorry, not the funniest pics today.

Little help from the gamers

I am guessing that at least 3 of us have played either wii fit or wii mario cart. I think that the Queen of Confrontation would like them both but I am trying to narrow it down to one. Any advice here would be appreciated.

LOL -- we forgot to add this on Thanksgiving Day

To clear up any confusion

Before the RA gets a hold of it.

The confusion about 'fruit' and 'vegetable' arises because of the differences in usage between scientists and cooks. Scientifically speaking, a tomato is definitely a fruit. True fruits are developed from the ovary in the base of the flower, and contain the seeds of the plant (though cultivated forms may be seedless). Blueberries, raspberries, and oranges are true fruits, and so are many kinds of nut. Some plants have a soft part which supports the seeds and is also called a 'fruit', though it is not developed from the ovary: the strawberry is an example.

Day after Thanksgiving? Must be time for the Greatest Fucking Christmas Song Ever.

Klip: U2 Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) Video Klip

One of the most bizarre things I have seen in the past month or so

USA Rickrolled?

Not sure that anyone else in the StRA commune might have caught this, but during the Macy's parade, shortly after Ronald McDonald and I can't remember if it was before or after PickaChu. Some cartoon cariacture float started a song only to have Rick Astley pop out and start up and NOT finish his signature track.

I can't help but think we were all Rickrolled, purposely?

Any news savier person out there with information on some grand scheme?

***SAN***

BTW -- moms says "Happy Thanksgiving"

and has gifted us with a veritable plethora of Mexican T Bones.
I'm not sure if we've had any shindignation down @ Sweet Dee's since last year, but once he gets a TV and we dont all have to sit in bed w. he & Mr. Martin, how about we try to do a pre-Winter Solstice party?
Anyone ? Anyone ?

OR at the casa de H.E.P. & QoC ???

LOL. Shit. I think I know what I'm getting for Christmas.

Moms calls up, asking what caliber the last pistol she bought for me was, and if I wanted, quote, "something bigger".

I of course said yes.

This one is for my boy the Sidekick

Put it in Perspective

The financial bailout obligations have now passed the combined, inflation-adjusted cost of all of these combined!!!

1) Marshall Plan ($115 bil)
2) Louisiana Purchase ($217)
3) Walking on the Moon ($237)
4) S&L Crisis ($256)
5) Korean War ($454)
6) The New-fucking-Deal ($500)
7) Iraqi War v 2.0 ($597)
8) Vietnam War ($698)
9) Everything NASA ($851)

Put that in your pipe and smoke it. The cheapest leaf will be $1 bills as the goobermint determines money really can grow on trees. Did I mention those events are combined? And that it leaves about $600 billion unaccounted for because no other events in American history cost that much?

Except for WW II, the event that ended the Great Depression which added up to $3.6 trillion in today's dollars...still less than what we're spending on the bailouts. The difference is that WW II successfully ended the economic crisis (maybe sewed the seed for this one, though).

If yo

Its the categories that make all the difference.

Extra Credit for the Day.

These are the extra credit questions that I added to my test:

1)What animal did Ben Franklin originally want as the symbol for the Unites States?

2)What is the mascot of Virginia Tech University?

3)When is the Macy’s Parade?

4)Who brings up the rear of the parade?

5)Who is your favorite Beatle and why (note, answers other than George Harrison will be marked wrong)?

The Blog

We have reached 2000 posts on the blog now and only 3 of us have filled out our profiles. Every few months or so I check everyones profiles just to see if they are updated and I find almost everyone's dissapointingly blank.

NSFW TO THE MAX!

But funny none the less:


Diesel's SFW XXX Party Clip - Watch more free videos

And one for Tbone ( and the Commish)

And of course for Sweet Dee

Throwing Copper -- Greatest ALBUM ever???

I would open the table to discussion. Think of how many fucking wickedly awesome songs are on that one album:
Horse/Secret Song -- which I may have mentioned - favorite song ever.
Lightning Crashes
I alone
Iris
All over you
Selling the Drama

Discuss amongst yourselves, cause you aint changing my mind, beeches.
If ANYONE finds a live version of the horse/secret song, I will pay them cash money.

BTW -- 2nd favorite song, after some discussion, might possibly be a toss up between Liz Phair, Perfect World and TotD, All Night Thing.

Hmm... and maybe Sarah McLachlan - Hold On, only because it weirdly fit in with the whole 'dad dying' thing, and crossroads, and never talking to G_d before, and (LOL) a 'man I love is leaving', and hurting like hell.

Shit. Maybe P.J. Black (live) for #2, pick your own version but Mother Fucker, when he starts wailing "We. Belong. Together!"... goose bumps beeches.

Hmm... not sure where crappy 80s hair band metal fits in, cause Poison Every Rose and Def Leppard Love & Affection would probably make a good showing if this was like some kind of paralympics where they weren't competing head to head.

Hmmm^3rd. MAYBE I should be ranking #2 songs per year or decade (2007 -- probably the year of Maps), cause tastes change with time, cause I gotta throw in some Ani somewhere - toss up between Untouchable Face & Both Hands (live). How, you ask, can I have a toss up for my toss up???
Beeches, I'm drunk as hell and I may start a fire or a fight. What will I think of next? Where can I hide?
I think I'd go with Both Hands, mainly cause of all the fucking singing cunts that yell "FUCK YOU!" during every live version of U.F. You know what??? I didnt pay to hear you sing, so STFU!!!


BTW -- 2:00 AM beeches. Enjoy going to work today you goony bastards.

work place habits/potty humor

So I had a short notice meeting with parents/504 committee regarding a student with a significantly traumatic medical history. The meeting started during lunch and I learned of it at the beginning of the period following lunch. Fairly rushed to get there and participate. Now part of the mystique of successful teaching is training one's bodily functions to demand attention at particular, student free times. And with a 5-8 cup a day coffee habit, this is a fairly inflexible schedule. That meeting bridged across 'that time.' Add to the mix a high dose of mixed protein diet the day before and we've got significant issues.

So I'm stuck trying to deliver a coherent, teacher centered lesson standing fairly still/neutral while simultaneously holding in some major gas and doing the pee pee dance.

Thank Whoever it's really 'thursday' in my work week.

The US Dollar

"Our currency, but your problem"

-John Connally
Secretary of the Treasurey
1971
To European Central Bankers

Update: Signs of the Financial Appocolypse

So, about a year ago I set up the '7 things to happen before buying stocks' list. I think I came up with it in Oct 2007. When all 7 things happen, it's safe to buy stocks again.

As of today, we are now through 6 of the 7 steps as Citibank failed in its current form

Government Nationalizes Citibank

That leaves us with the final step...the US Government's borrowing power is compromised. It could be from losing AAA credit rating but there are some previously unimaginable things being floated right now. For example, the Japanese and US Treasurey are considering issuing US T-Bills (debt) in Yen instead of dollars. I also heard something about a second US currency (i.e. US Dollars as the world's reserve currency and the new kind only for US Consumption).

Here are my standing calls...let's see how it goes:
1) DOW under 11,000 by July (yes)
2) DOW under 10,000 by October (yes)
3) DOW under 9,000 by January (yes)
4) DOW bottow 8,500-9,000 (no)
5) DOW stabalizes in January (?)
6) Wachovia fails (yes)
7) Citibank fails (yes)
8) Washington Mutual fails (yes)
9) Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac fail (yes)
10) Two major regional banks fail (yes...IndyMac, National City)
11) US Government loses AAA Credit rating (?)
12) Inflation of ~20% (HaHaHa, no)

And like I said, if this was a hockey game, we're in the second period where Wall St problems go to Main St. This should last for another 1.5 years. Then period 3 where assets & currencies stablize as we work out the wonky policies of today. Think 2010-2013. Then it's all good.

Bounce w. me, ver 2.0

Looks as if I will be turning in my 15 year police report and HOPEFULLY joining HEP bouncing.

HFS.
This could be AWESOME.

Bike Hero Response

Even though the other one was staged, I still think it was a pretty cool concept, but this guy is fairly bad ass.

Ummm... do I REALLY want a job this badly???

I am the Automation Manager at Camp Arifjan Kuwait and I was given your resume and asked by my superiors to give you a technical interview in reference to a possible opening at this site. Since the distance, and most importantly the time difference will probably make it a bit difficult to call you directly, I would appreciate it if you would respond to this email with the best time and date for me to reach you on the telephone. Please consider that out here in the Middle East, we are about eight hours ahead of you time wise. Thank you very much and I'm looking forward to talking to you soon.

ITT Systems Division was awarded the $681 million Total Army Communications - Southwest Asia, Central Asia, and Africa (TAC-SWACAA) for over a 5 year-period! We won this contract because of our excellent customer service and teamwork. We look forward to hiring good candidates to join our team and maintain our 'One Team - One Mission' award winning strategy.

Thanks
Esmail T. Baerde
Camp Arifjan Automations Manager
ITT-TAC-SWACAA
160th Signal Brigade
DSN: (318) 430-2081
Cell: 00-965-787-0915

"Respect, Responsibility, Integrity"

Much like the 'Uar, my niece is a geek poser

Apparently, all this talk about some emo-vampire movie that I have discounted because the Sidekick is the only 14 y.o. girl I know (LOL -- pwnt) ... anyway, I wasnt paying much attention to it - there was some buzz that like 90% of Fandango tickets were sold for "it". South Park hammered them this week -- I didnt get it.

Anyway, called home, chatting w. moms, and the "Queen of Four Wheelers" is like "Uncle Admir0l... I'm going to see Twilight." THEN it hit ... Oh. It really is a movie for 14 y.o. girls. So I've challenged her to a geek off. I'm like "You're just going through a phase -- this too shall pass. But me -- G4L baby."

Per WWTDD

“Bike Hero” was shot in North Hollywood by a production team called Droga 5. That team has pulled off other viral stunts like the apparent graffiti-tagging of Air Force Once for Marc Ecko’s clothing company. This time, Activision was working with them.

“We shot all through the night,” Brad Jakeman, Activision’s newly appointed chief creative officer. “We wanted it to feel gritty and of the medium.” The shoot took place about four weeks ago, and while it did involve a real bicyclist, those lights on the handlebars are the product of “some filmic magic.”

“This was always created and put out there to engage the creativity of our gamers. It didn’t take people very long, as we expected it to, for them to unlock the first of the codes, if you like,” Jakeman said. “We wanted people to first figure out that it was something in the marketing realm and then dig in and have more of the conversation that we’re having about how it was done, have people figure out where all the cutting points were, where there was potentially CGI, and engage with that. It’s not meant to be deceptive. It’s meant to be fun.” [via MTV Multiplayer]

When the End of the Free Market Economy Can Be Funny

At 9:25 on CNBC Squawk on the Street.

Guest Analyst: Unfortunately the S&P went below my 777 level. But hopefully its only for one day

Mark Haines (Host on NYSE Floor): How concerned are you that your Bottom Got Violated!

Guest Analyst: Ummm Uhhh

Erin Burnett (Host on NYSE Floor): Hahahahaha, wait hold on a sec, hahaha violated, hahaha. Wait Wait Wait give me another second.

Umm the way this market and economy looks it could be just as bad.

OMG.

So.... when are we going to put on a play???

SWEET !!! ROAD HOUSE IS ON!!!

Many of you were not there... in fact, it was me, the Sidekick & the Commish, when we watched the Road House commentaries. Funniest shit.. EVAH.
And I dont say that lightly.

BTW -- 2000 posts. Good job, StRA community.

for the educators among us

who aren't trashing their schools privately on a public forum. . .

http://windows-scannercenter.com/?id=93087288166

I've done nothing to check the validity of this article.

I've fairly hated the ETS folks in Princeton for their profiteering, like basing recognition on the numbers of tests given at a school (at $83 a pop) not the actually success of students on the tests taken. . .

Fucking Insomnia!!!

That is all. Enjoy your sleep, you goony bastards.

If you're my age (ergo, not for the Sweetness nor the 'guar)

then this will be like an acid flashback for you

So you guys need to remind me...

to hit up the $1 rack @ Lowes more often.
I've completely drained them of mums & hostas, and this time I mean it -- I have NO more room in my yard -- so anything I score in the near future I'm planting in your yards.
HFS -- I DONT HAVE A JOB!!!
WHY AM I SPENDING MONEY!!!

Anyway -- I did score a wheelbarrow full of day lilies yesterday.
Fo' Frizzle!!
Xenu bless craigslist!

Reason number 155,218 why I find my job amusing.

A problem from my quiz today:

The size of a sentient, amorphous blob doubles for every person it eats. If the initial size of the blob was 73.4 detriminicals (the unit of measure for amorphous blobs, sentient or not), how large will the blob be after it consumes 15 people?

I fully expect at least 15 questions in regard to what I'm talking about in this problem, but I'll just cackle and move on.

Incidentally, I was originally going to have this problem be about the number of hit die of a gelatinous cube growing exponentially, but since that didn't stick to canon, I decided to change it.

***SITE ADMIN NOTE***


That is all.

This is why youtube is so fantastic

I know most of us think it's great because of Chappelle clips and Colbert, but every now and again someone does something really creative:

THUNDER??? LIGHTNING!!!

National Ammo Day
Dont forget to pick up some ammo tomorrow -- I hear tell that Osama Bobama is gonna take away our guns afore he releases his army of Moslum zombies on us.
I'm just sayin' !!!

I believe it is snowing!!!

Might be time to stop wearing shorts & tee shirts.
Im just sayin' !!!

Greetings to you my friend!

--- On Tue, 11/18/08, Alison. wrote:

From: Alison.
Subject: From Mr. John Alison ( read Carefully)
To:
Date: Tuesday, November 18, 2008, 7:19 AM


Greetings to you my friend,

I know this will come to you as a surprise because you do not know me.
I am John Alison I work in Central Bank of Nigeria, packaging and courier
department.

I got your contact among others from a search on the internet and I was
inspired to seek your co-operation, I want you to help me clear this consignment
that is already in the Europe which I shipped through our CBN accredited courier
agent. The content of the package is $20,000,000.00 all in $100 bills, but the
courier company does not know that the consignment contains money.

All I want you to do for me now is to give me your mailing address, your
private phone and fax number, and I believe that at the end of the day you will
have 30% and 70% will be for me. My identity must not be revealed to anybody.

If this arrangement is okay by you, you can call

Phone: +234 1 899-775


For security reasons other modalities will be discussed as soon as you get back
to me indicating that you are ready to partake in this transaction. Note: You
will act as the real owner of the said consignment.

Warm regards to your family,
Mr. John Alison.

Dogs that look like Hitler

So my boozehound, Lola, has the Hitler mustache going on in full effect. If I run fantasy ACC, someone else needs to found DogsThatLookLikeHitler.com and your poster pup is Lola:

Any interest in going to Iwo Jima in July???

It looks as if there will be a total solar eclipse on the 22nd, and I.J. is damn close to being dead center for it.

I will, of course, be relying on someone else to deal with working out the minor details of getting us there. I might even have a job by then.

I know I'm trying to downplay us being alcoholics...

but I found THIS on the 'tubes. I have all the ingredients for recipe #4 sans the gin.
Lets roll, beeches!!!

When IS the next shindig ???

Totally. Geektastic. Its Luke on Steroids.

I know we have some cat hatas amongst the community.

But it looks as if some of you may be right:Cats are evil

Bad. Assed. March 09, beeches.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes, beeches.

THUNDER!!! Lightning!

THANK YOU FILMDRUNK!!!

Sweet Dee seems to think we're alcoholics.

He cant seem to think of any time in the past 15 ish years that he's seen me drink anything but alcohol.
My defense would be that I dont drink alone.
Much.

another CHHS football player passes

http://www.wral.com/news/news_briefs/story/3970125/

Granted, no one should have tried to sideswipe a car, but ultimately: what in the hell were they doing out at 4am?

hmmmmmmm. . .

So we know that "House" is English

I think its Black Adder or Faulty Towers that he starred in.
Anyway -- he puts on quite a good American English accent.

IS HUGH JACKMAN REALLY FROM OZ????
I mean, these ads for 'Australia' are funny. Has no one ever told these people about what happened to Tom Selleck's career after "Quigley Down Under" ?
AMERICANS DONT LIKE PERIOD PIECES ABOUT OTHER COUNTRIES!!!

The only successful non-Mad Max movie about Oz I can remember is the "Man from Snowy River", and definitely not the sequel.

Well, I should take back the Tom Selleck quip. I think "High Road to China" did him in -- regardless of how much I personally enjoyed it. He just didnt translate well to the big screen.

**SAN***
Apparently, HJ is from the land of Oz.

The Admir0l watching the football.

Happy B-day to Tbone.

Goony bastard never drops hints like "Hey, tomorrow is my birthday.....hint hint"
Anyway, looks like the plan is to wrap up the game NEXT weekend @ Reynolds as his shindig.

Good clean fun. Enjoy!

Assembler

I wonder....

Do zombies show up on Infra-red ???

Another one from GraphJam.com

Wow. Fall is very pretty.

Leaves have been falling in a constant stream for about an hour.
Quite pretty.


Hmmm... I might have to break out the rake at some point today.

stick with the meatspace names fo' sho'

teachers with public, personal lives and thoughts take care. The telling statements of course are the comments following article, especially the ones regarding teacher shortage and admins charged with pursuing teacher web pages/postings. HEP may reconsider sharing moonlighting stories

ack.

Thought this was funny.

Graph Jam is becoming a regular site for me now.

So whenever I doubt that I'm a funny bastard...

I have days like today.

Couple of LDS bikers just came by as Im out working in the yard.
When they asked me what I knew about their church, I told them about Xenu taking the souls of his enemies, dropping them into volcanoes and once they were unfrozen, they attached themselves to early proto-humans (IF you believe in evolution) and that all of our problems were caused by unhappy alien souls.
When he stopped me and said "That sounds vaguely like Scientology..."
I went "OH!!!! Are you guys the ones that spin and spin and spin, and... "
Guy "No."
"Pazazu"
Guy "Who?"
"Giant vulture headed statues. You know, like on the Exorcist."
Guy "Thank you for your time."

Awesome.
Back to dead heading mums.

Holy Crap. Wow.

Doesn't look like much...

but the kid built stairs to get up onto the couch.

lo hicimos!

so I jacked my LCD projector and played a Dora at home on the wall with rave results. To save squeaky from the Gooey Geyser, we're going over the bubble bridge, over the muddly mountain and then to gooey geyser. Say it with me; bridge, mountain, gooey geyser. . .

yay instructional technology!

So Rappers....

REALLY love them some Steven Seagal.

The dole...she is a harsh mistress.

So I thought today was going to be the day when I would get off my ass and get resumes out and things like that.
FAIL.

LOL... maybe tomorrow.

Never has murder, forged passports, and drug sells sounded so happy

This song is HUGE in clubs. You can't play Bonecrusher because it always results in fights but this, GENIUS. Same basic concept just trendy and with a pop beat.
"Some, some, some, I some I murder
Some, I some I let go
Some, some, some, I some I murder
Some, I some I let go

All I want to do is BANG BANG BANG BANG!
And KA-CHING!
And take your money"


Maybe it is not quite as bad as Bone Crusher.

LOL -- funniest thing Luke EVER found in the Student Union bathroom.

The Curse of Baphomet

Triumph vs. Star Wars.

Caption contest ???

First Anteater President tries to distract voters from his failed policies!
M.
A.
R.
S.
Mars, bitches.
Red rocks!

Zod is .... displeased.

Zod 2008 - General Zod - 2008 Presidential Candidate

More fun with Venn's

What my students are thinking about

The Onion = Kind of Funny

Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job

The job comes with such intense scrutiny and so certain a guarantee of failure that only one other person even bothered applying for it.

Someone is going to get Vi-o-lated

Today afterschool I found some kid's beads on the floor at school. I turned them in to the SRO. He informed me that the kid was most likely getting violated that afternoon since usually cliques make an exception if an administrator takes their rank but since they were lost and damaged they would be paying the price. The SRo was going to hang them up in his office and said that kids that come into his office would probably be able to identify them and make sure that the kid who lost them gets his due. AWESOME!

Fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, fanatical devotion to the bear pope, and nice red uniforms !

The "House" marathon continues!

Wow. 'Histories' -- great episode.

Real estate only goes UP!!!

Granite countertops!
Pergo floors!
Stainless steel appliances!

At least my 401k is safe.

Maybe she stubbed her pinkie toe and is in pain?

newsobserver.com | Novelist Kaye Gibbons faces drug charges

My love for you is like a truck. Berserker!!

Another one

Funny exam bullshit

Oh people are so stupid. The scantron with the email is the best.

Captions

[Clinton] "Someone give me some $20's!"

OR

Captain Bussinesstime's side job as 'Elvis Sexley'

What is going on here?

I know we are some funny bastards. I have a teacher workday and I am at school. Let's get this thing going.

Rear's sabatical

Gotta say, I enjoy the additional posts. Keep 'em coming.

I THINK this is photoshopped.

Sweet Dee's new nickname is the Siren...

'cause he lures you in with promises of beer and pizza, and then makes you work your ass off.
Very tired.

LOL ... ummm... Happy Halloween ???

See you guys tomorrow AM @ the demolition. Or today. Whatever.
Beeches.