Running starts tomorrow.

Not looking forward to this in the least.

Anyone want to run Shelly Lake in early evening, 8 or 8:30, you know where I will be.

**** SITE ADMIN NOTICE ****
TONIGHTS RUN.

(OUT OF 5)

Holy fucking shit. Maybe we (humans) ARE a plague.

Australian crocs hit by cane toad 'wave of death'

Granted, it was one of my favorite Simpsons episodes, but next to the loss of honeybees, invasive species strike me as a very bad thing.

Stupid Last Samurai

My thoughts on this piece of garbage havent changed considerably.

Also, I need to find the historical data so Im not talking out my arse... but...
Say you are a samurai. The amount of time necessary to train you = years & years & years.
There is NO way in hell some gaijin redneck is gonna come into town, and within a few weeks, be able to bounce with you and your homies.

And another thing -- not that every soldier fighting in the Civil War was noble or blah blah blah. But by the end, everyone had a vague idea that the net big result of the war would be the end of slavery. So Tom Cruise's character fought for the North.
THEN.... he has a crisis of conscience because his troops kill peaceful Native Americans and impose the iron fist of honky rule.
We are then led to believe this person who had fought to end slavery AND was morally crushed at the thought of killing & enslaving people would be kosher with joining forces with his antithesis???
THE SAMURAI WERE THE BAD GUYS KEEPING EVERYONE ENSLAVED AND KILLING ANYONE WHO RESISTED THEIR RULE!!!
Grrr!!!!
Horrible movie.

NOOOO!!!! I SO wanted this to work

The Looj is apparently a dud. Curses!

I really hate cleaning my gutters, and was hoping this would come in handy when the 'Uar calls in his chits.

Can I tell you how NUTS my mom drives me?

So she calls me @ work --- cant get to the 'tubes.
1:30 later, I'm about ready to strangle her.
If any of you notice that I dont follow directions, dont provide pertinent details, and always try to take the easy way out (buying a new computer because this one is 'broke') then I cannot be held responsible -- Im a Mayville by nature.

A couple of thought provoking films:

Curious George is on the tube right now as per the Caleb/Daddy saturday morning ritual. Yes a monkey on cross country skis is the flavor of the morning.

what have you all seen that left you with that feeling that there was something to think about:

here's a couple that came across my mind. I'll add more as I think of them.

a thin red line
garden state
grand canyon

Movie reviews from SCW

Crash: contrived tripe

Time of Death: 1:10 PM

The Bear Market is official...Bull Market is kaput...Officially 20% peak to current devaluation.

Jewish Elvis!

Recently had his first #1 album amazingly enough, even though he's sold over 100 million albums.

Why Neil Diamond Rocks!

Capt. Eeyore on Deck

Two quick thoughts, just because I care abotu y'all.

First, if you have any US Dollars to invest, get them out of US Dollars and into something else. I suggest calling Euro Pacific Capital. I like them, the Fund Manager is 3.4 times more pessimistic than I. I don't know what you should invest in but give Canada a good look.

Second, if this whole housing/credit/recession debacle was a hockey game that started in July 2005 (housing peak), I think the first period just ended. The first period was tough on banks and builders. The second period will be the worst - tough on the banks, builders, investors, and consumers - and will be the recession of our lifetime; nothing like the Depression and probably better than the '70s. The third period will be about the commodities bubble bursting and killing inflation.

Enjoy these tidbits. Oh, and I do think Raleigh is one the best positioned cities so I feel good about all of us because [I think] we all live in Raleigh and/or work for the government.

I won't be bored this summer...

I'll be drunk. Which is kind of like every summer I guess. I have a home brewing kit. I am going to try it out today. It takes like 2 - 3 weeks to brew. FUCK! But hopefuly it will work out.

My home brewing kit

Tales From a West Virginia Wedding

So, I was at a wedding on the Virginia/West Virginia border over the weekend. In attendance were 3 former student body presidents at WVU as well as several locals from Sugar Grove, WV who were, uh, not like the student body presidents. Very interesting mix of people that led to fights with Navy enlisted men in their barracks as well as a girl fight at a pool. And the girls were both smoking hot.

Anyhow, one of the groomsmen was a former regional manager for Walmart. It turns out that Walmart managers get guns pulled on them fairly regularly so Walmart likes managers who aren't afraid of a little dirty pool.

The best gun-pulling story was from a New Jersey location. A customer felt entitled to a refund that my fellow groomsman wasn't going to give him. The customer then raised his shirt up to reveal a big ass gun and again asked for the refund. The Walmart manager/groomsman reached down, pulled the guy out of this guy's pants, and smacks him in the head with it. The customer fell to the ground, unconcious and with a little leg tick. The Walmart manager then puts the gun back in the guy's pants and calls the cops.

I'll just say that this fellow faired well vs. 19 Navy boys playing beer pong.

It worked for R. Kelly...

So, just had my court date for suing 'Douchebag with a Fish' (i.e. crooked construction company) for stealing my hard-earned money (no one ever dropped $104,000 in my lap). I represented myself as the plaintiff but the defendant - the construction company - hired a lawyer. I was a bit nervous at first; I presented my case counter to a real lawyer and assumed I was outclassed and would lose. But I guess I did a good job because the defense turned to an R. Kelly defense rather than a real one.

At the heart of my argument was contract clause 11-A. The actual words aren't important, but clause 11-A said I should get my money back.

The defense - a real lawyer - then told the judge I shouldn't win because clause 11-A didn't exist. The judge then held the contract in his hands and read clause 11-A back to the lawyer. The lawyer looked the judge in the eye and said, "Sir, that clause is not in the contract."

I guess R. Kelly's lawyer was more convincing.

I won big.

When they actually pay me, we'll have beer and a big fish on them.

recent onion finding

Tee Hee Hee, a recent visit to the onion found this funny clip on children's health care opinion.

Not sure how I feel about this yet.

George Carlin is dead.

Zombies are among us! First person accounts that The Man is supressing !!!

World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War

Funny stuff from Gee

"Which of you slept on the Stallion!!!"

I'm rich biatch!!

This morning I logged on to SECU and I noticed that I have 4 accounts instead of the 3 accounts that I normally have. My newest account had $9216.00. I thought this was weird but I did not report it because I wanted to show QoC so that we could have a good laugh. When she came home I pulled up the account which now has $109,216.00.

Now in monoploy there is a card that says bank error in your favor collect $200.00.

In real life it could be bank error in your favor collect $109,216.00. If it is there tomorrow I am closing the account and throwing a party.

THIS IS THE CHAIRMAN OF THE BANKING COMMITTEE

No wonder the subprime mess occured. These jackasses should not be given control over anything more important than a bucket of spit.

chem project I thought you all might enjoy.

Every year I have students complete one project vaguely related to chemistry following the AP exam. Most choose to do a mural. One group knocks out the class t-shirt. One year the kids built me a podium, another year I had them hanging shelving rails in the wall. The 0607 year, Bobby and Alec made their own lyrical remix of ice ice baby using the original Bowie/Queen sound and rewriting the Vanilla Idiot script as the RA and I are so eager to do. Additionally, they shot a video. It celebrates some failures and other bits, as the sidebar notes indicate. I had forgotten about it, but a former student reminded me that they uploaded it on youtube.

It's cute.

Indian Proverb of the Day -- half truths aren't REALLY lies

The great Yudhistira also had to suffer the consequences of his actions. He uttered the words, “Ashwattama Hataha Kunjaraha” but made the Kunjaraha soft. (The truth was that Bheema had killed an elephant named Ashwattama, but to demoralize Drona such a method was used. Drona was aghast and lost his life after refusing to fight since he had lost interest in living as he believed that his son, Ashwattama, was dead.) This was the reason they had to spend some time in Hell.



I'll admit, it took me 3 or 4 times to catch the gist of the tale.
Enjoy.

Is this how the Wolf pays off her credit card ???

I thought our idea of grifting NFL & NBA players took guts.

Shirtless rednecks everywhere rejoice!

Lack of Vitamin D rampant!!!

I never watched the show, but this seems funny.

Kind of excited about JvD -- 53 pounds of love!!!

If you need to get ahold of me today -- I will be drinking & kettlebelling.
Out.

So Bogarts is not as safe as I thought

Dead body of a white male found in front of Bogarts, Red Room, and Hi-5 this morning.

Contra Bears surfing the 'tubes...

They're everywhere

Blech! That sound you hear...

Is me working on a Saturday.
10 hours.
I may cry.

Anyhoo...
At least there wasn't much traffic coming in.

UHD is very descriptive!

The Little Man Defense Played Well

So R.Kelly got off his kiddie porn case by successfully arguing someone superimposed his face on a video ala 'Little Man.' Keep that lawyer on speed dial.

***SITE ADMIN NOTE***
His attorney's closing argument:

Showing the jury a studio photograph of the alleged victim on a large screen, he then told them that if they were going to find Kelly guilty of 14 counts of child pornography, "you are going to have to call (the alleged victim) 14 times individually and collectively a whore."

Barely audible, he whispered, "My momma told me when we were kids, 'if you ain't got something nice to say about someone, don't say it about her."

He concluded his argument saying, "How are you 14 times going to call her a whore?"

SO....please dont convict R. Kelly of being a pedophile, because it might hurt the reputation of the 14 year old he sodomized and golden showered ???
I have serious doubts that a certain higher power isnt lining up his lightening bolts in preparation for smiting America.

Gee's intriguing new neighbors

So two "ladies" moved in upstairs above Gee.

Here is what we know -- they have names and license plates.

However:
No myspace or facebook pages.
Nothing pulls up on google searches.

My thought -- they are either criminals or foreign agents.
I base this on the fact our government is incompetent and cannot do anything right.
So I do not believe they are in witness protection -- I've seen Eraser. I know these things.
Also, based on the info about Valerie Plame that was public domain, I dont think they're CIA.

My thoughts -- cigarette smugglers for Hezbollah.
Where else would you go to buy cigs EXCEPT for Durham ???

Thoughts ???

What a fun little article!

Google, Nietzsche and Cheaper by the Dozen -- all in 1 magical article!

LOL -- perfect description of me: “filled with the conceit of wisdom instead of real wisdom.”
Much like many of the ideas I've accused others of infringing on my unspoken trademark, this deals with 'mental outsourcing', which I am actually a big fan of.
The Commissioner would be a better arbiter about how the 'tubes affect reading habits, since I (much like everything else in my life) go through hills & valleys of my reading enjoyment.
However -- I know I've chatted before about how the 'tubes make trivial knowledge useless, since EVERYONE has access to it, and there is almost no way to now call bullshit on someone for knowing or not knowing a tidbit of useless info.

I would assume fields such as mine (medicine), must be careful to actually LEARN information instead of outsourcing. Its not the kind of thing you want someone doing on the fly in the jungles of Guatemala for their first time.

Out.

Janie Von Devastation is on the way!!!

This one goes out for the Sidekick

Death be not proud... or even "be".

Many many nights on the porch discussing the finer points of draining lil' babies of their stem-cell-rific juices appear to be going down the tubes, if science keeps advancing at this pace.

Fairly enjoyable parable/link

Starting to understand sports contracts

Since AT&T has gloriously decided to not renew me after October, I have seen 90% or so of my incentive to do a good job just fly out the window. Only thing helping is that I might need a reference.
Anyhow, I'm starting to think in terms of sports contracts and the difference in performance when you are guaranteed employment vs. when you are trying to impress for a new deal.
Not that 4 months is MUCH guaranteed employment, but still I get paid.
Every incentive to even attempt impressive metrics while chasing that elusive "Full Time Employment" has dissipated and I dont see it coming back any time soon.

If anyone ever wins the lottery, can you hook me up?

Not working is kind of wonderful.
Working suxrs.

Don't worry, you two still aren't getting one.

A $199 version of the new iPhone will have 8 gigabytes of storage and a $299 model will have 16 gigabytes. The company said the subsidy would increase sales volumes.

Of course to get this price you need a two year service agreement with AT&T, and the data charge is $30/month.

not HEP, HEPA

Anyone have experience purchasing a reliable true hepa filter?

I know the RA had a septum that took the road less traveled and the sidekick has a near death feline response. So there are folks who may have invested in such things recently.

We've been in a little bit of respiratory distress, mostly the C monster with some sinus action followed by an earache - that may be following the sinus thing. We decided to stay home rather than risk vectoring whatever we have to the crew at the pool on saturday.

I noticed that I've been breathing a little easier at school/out of the house and it dawns on me that the seasonably extreme weather may be promoting particulate matter in our air, from shedding pets to any moisture supported biotics, air carried pollen, etc from outside getting in the house and staying put. . .

It simply follows then that proving it (or at least improving the interior air quality) may make the situation better for all in the house, even if air quality isn't directly affecting my kid.

That is, parenting may be making me paranoid, and shelling out some well thought dollars on a HEPA filter for the playroom may make me feel better, especially if it improves C's health. . .

and I know, I use ". . ." too much. I just hate to think my thoughts stop when the letters stop.

Going Postal

Best office freak out video ever. No volume, nothing to offend the workplace, just wicked awesome mahem.


***SITE ADMIN NOTE ***
My sources tell me its fake.

Downtown Raleigh is now my favorite place in the World

So they promised me more action and I got it. First thing tonight I was put on float which means that float around the club/bar and look for infractions. I notice a few guys wearing hats but it was 10:45. At 11:00 they are banned. I go a talk to one of the guys and he immediately took his off. I point out another to my boy Super Chest and he goes to talk to this guy. After Super Chest very politely talks to the gentleman the guy obliges and takes off his hat...and then immediately puts it on as soon as Super Chest turns his back. Super Chest makes a bee line for this guys and rips the hat from his head and then walks outside of the club. The guy follows and is now ready to cooperate. He completely drops the attitude and starts apologizing. Super Chest gives him his hat back but tells him that he cannot come back in for any reason for the rest of the night. The guy pleads that his wife is inside and Super Chest just looked at him and repeated that HE was not allowed inside and added that his wife would probably be out soon.

Next up and most awesome thing of the night, I am put on door and I have to check people for things as they come in. I am there for about 30 minutes before Super Chest runs this guy outside for having a knife. Then a guy comes from one of the other bars and tries to get in. I wave the guy in since he has on the color wrist band but the other bouncer who was training me stops him and asks him if he knows that he is bleeding. Now I look at the guys face and I can see a little blood on his collar at this point. The guy steps back outside into the light and his entire neck is covered with blood and it was running down into his undershirt. He had just been hit with a bottle and had about a 2in cut on his head and you could see the blood coming out with each beat of his heart. It was truly amazing. We then got RPD's finest involved and they handled it from there but we just watched.

Good times at the QH!!!

Thanks to everyone for coming, hope you had a good time.
Off to the Tap Room for some real drinkin'.

Weekend Trip

Hey guys, I'm bringing my girlfriend up to the 919 for the first time ever and I've been gone so long that I don't know what there is to do in the area anymore. So basically I'm just looking for some help in figuring out some things we could do for a couple of days next weekend. Just for some insight her interests vary from paintball all the way to ballet....so basically any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Whoopie takes her last exam

My first greyhound Whoopi has gone on to the greyt track in the sky, or whatever afterlife awaits these dogs.
She's had lymphosarcoma the over the last 15 months and we decided to not put her through a second year of fairly heavy chemotherapy. She lost about 10 lbs since these picture were shot mid-May and her quality of life has started to plummet, so she took a forever nap after a good sunny walk, a ton of biscuits and a pile of hugs and kisses.

Her housemate, Moly seems to have not noticed in the true cavalier greyhound fashion. "whoopi who? when's dinner." The links are to their pedigrees/race histories.

Here are some shots of Caleb 'taking' her picture with his camera and getting licked. Norm the cat is fairly laid back for the oldest non-human in the house, eh?
The thickness behind her jaw is a cluster of swollen lymph nodes. When I got her in 2000, her face was completely black. You can't see her white eyelashes in this shot, but they were fairly remarkable.

And here's a fun shot of greyhound life. Note the clock in the background.

Mine have been 40mph couch potatoes and fairly solid company for the last 8 years. It's really like I had a couple of tall, heavy cats. 70lbs of heavy sleeper.

Preparing for my first day as a bouncer

So far today I have told SK more bouncer meeting (BM) stories, fueled up the Explorer for the commute to Chapel Hill, bought a maglight flashlight w/ belt holder, shaved, and drank a 6 pack of Bud Select. I am trying to get some sleep but I am too anxious. I just kept drinking until I felt sleepy. Now I am a 6-er deep and I am still amped. I think that I am going to go break some more lumber with my baton and then get dressed and sit in the corner and just build up frustration.

Live blogging my return from first night of bouncing.

I got to the place at about 10:40 pm and I was told to familiarize myself with the building. I went in and started making my rounds. This was a VERY upscale place. Later when I was working the door I had to make sure that everyone paid before they entered. The price at the VIP door was $40 for males and $30 for the ladies. If you were wearing jeans you can add $10 to the price and if you were wearing a suit you could subract $10. Limo's would pull up and a guy would had over $200 to get him and all his lady friends in the club. $200 just to get in the fucking door. Jeeeesus!

All in all it was a pretty slow night like everyone told me that it would be. I did have to carry a drunk girl around for a few seconds, which means that I got to use my gloves. I yelled at her drunk ass when she started to throw up on the sidewalk. There was a fight but it happened in the parking lot which is not our jurisdiction. I am not really sure where our jurisdiction stops the local PD's begins. Best guess is that there is some kind of imaginary line that people must not cross with a beverage in their hand or else they get busted with a drinking in public charge.

It was hot, people were drinking, the music sucked but I made some money and people got the fuck out of my way so all in all it was decent. I was told that tomorrow should be more exciting and that I would be "actually working for my money".

Even the Weather Channel is Chiming in on the Activities Tomorrow

See RA. Follow the WC's advice.

Economic Worries

I'm usually on the positive side of things when it comes to the true numbers and facts of the economy, but also hedge against recession. This is because all that matters is the psychology of those who buy and sell; not just securities, but anything. People, especially small investors are nervous and don't have the insight or stomach to deal with poor short term economic data or volatility in the market.

That being said, this is the first time during this situation, where I may be coming off my positive attitude regarding the economy as a whole. Historically, we are still in much better shape than lets say 1992 where unemployment was at its peak at 7.7%, but I can see a scenario where not only real wages continue to decline again but nominal wages begin to decline as well.

The only positive is that all of this is cyclical, and my kinder are at an age where they are in a good position regarding the job market.

That being said, Please continue to save as much as you can and safely invest your money people. It's very important!

The Return of the (Mole) King

Mother.
Fucker.

So I noticed one of my roses looked like absolute shit.
Watered it.
Still looking like shit.
Touched it.
Fell over.
Then I noticed a bunch of my gladiolas were also teetering.
Picked one up. No bulb attached.
And another.
And another.
And another.

The fucking war is back on like donkey kong.

Purchased a 6 Pack of mouse bait.

Die you plant eating mother fuckers!!!

AWESOME!!!

So now that I am officially working security for 3 of Raleigh's hottest clubs I am required to go to meetings every other Tuesday to talk about all the things that bouncers talk about. Mostly the guys tell me tales of bouncing in the early 90's versus bouncing in the late 90's and the occasional story about bouncing now. Usually these end with someone getting a broken nose or getting their ribs crushed by a bar stool or worse. The two guys in charge told me that I needed to pick up a good LED flashlight and a pair of black gloves. I also have to pick up a cheap boost mobile phone "Where you at..." at some point this summer but they told me to wait on that. I assumed that this was all that I needed to pick up. One of the other guys told me that it would be in my best interest to pack some sort of weapon in my car since people who get turned away or thrown out like to confront you in the parking lot. This scared the shit out of me. Seriously I thought about just getting up and leaving right then. Alas, I stayed and decided to pick up a baton.

I have flicked it out several times now and I am certain that if I didn't panic and freeze that I would be able to flick it out in the face of danger and at least look serious. It dawned on me that I should try hitting something with it to see it it holds up and if it would fail under the stress of a drunk mother fucker's skull or something. Today when I got home I had a few drinks and then scavenged the neighborhood for scrap wood from the construction sites. I found a 2X2 and raised my baton about 6 in to see if it would vibrate like crazy or bend and it went ok so I gave it about a 18 in swing. See pics for results.

Those of you with bebes -- BEWARE!!!

The Kindergarchy

Post PC dying email requesting I take a survey

On Tuesday, June 3, 2008 1:10PM, you contacted the Corporate Helpdesk and spoke with a Anonymous Comapany Services Desktop Services Specialist named "Ms. X". The trouble ticket (XXXXXXXX, Component: Desktop) that was created as a result of your call has now been closed. So that we can monitor the quality of customer service that we provide, please take a moment to respond to the statements found on the following website about this contact with the Anonymous Comapany Helpdesk. Please click here to respond to this survey:


************************************************************************
And of course, my response:

You have got to be absolutely kidding me!!!

NOTHING HAS BEEN DONE!!!!

My pc shuts itself down because it’s overheating -- I asked for either a new chassis & a tech to move my hard drive over OR if that was too much, just ship me a chassis and I will do the work.

Instead, nothing gets done.

The apathy of this situation enervates me so much I cant even muster the willpower to offer you a sarcastic thanks.

I will never die this well

Well I've never heard THAT before...

So at the pool, a guy asked me (real slow and loud) how long I've lived in "America"
NOT Raleigh
NOT NC
Ameri-fucking-ca!

He said I had a very thick accent and was hard to understand.
Umm.... I got nothin

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!

Long video, but the gist of it is, someone 100% TtFaF!

Big thanks to all who helped

Sorry it's so late but I wanted to take the first free time that I have had since the move to thank all that helped out. We both really appreciate it. The washer/dryer debacle went rather well and no one lost their ass virginity in that lady's house...Thank GAWD! I swear that you guys did a better job than the movers that moved my mom like 7 years ago. They broke things and knocked about a gallon of paint off the walls going up the stairs. We did an awesome job. Huge ups to RA for putting the dryer cord on while intoxicated. Huge ups to Uar for transporting our asses across county lines into what was at the time unknown perils. As always Capt Businesstime made it all the way up here to help us move our rap on what was then the hottest day of the year.

We will have a house warming party at some point in the future probably July but it could be sooner...or later.

No need to drink your babies stem cells

Anti-aging at its finest !

"The general public has no idea what's coming," said David Sinclair, a Harvard Medical School professor who has made headlines with research into the health benefits of a substance found in red wine called resveratrol.

Speaking on a panel of aging experts, Sinclair had the boldest predictions. He said scientists can greatly increase longevity and improve health in lab animals like mice, and that drugs to benefit people are on the way.

"It's not an if, but a when," said Sinclair, who co-founded Sirtris Pharmaceuticals to pursue such drugs. The company, which is testing medicine in people with Type 2 diabetes, was recently bought for $720 million by GlaxoSmithKline, the world's second-largest drug maker.

Sinclair said treatments could be a few years or a decade away, but they're "really close. It's not something (from) science fiction and it's not something for the next generation."

Sinclair has said that he has taken resveratrol supplements, but at the longevity event he cautioned that right now there is no proven magic pill to extend life.

His suggestion? Exercise.

w00t!

DOE License Application for Yucca Mountain Submitted

Damn these broken tubes!!

So Darpa-nets have been cranky the past 5 days.
Then... my pc decided to overheat and die.
Curses!

t bone makes the local letter to editor column

here's the short letter regarding stupid no-zero policy . . . attempted at one of the top schools in the nation even. sufferin sucotash. ..

BTW -- nearly out of minutes

If you need to get ahold of me, call the house phone.

Why I Was Fired

For the Annual General Meeting, management decided we could have alcohol, but only one drink per person...

Shindig RSVPs

Nancy -- In
Lee & Shana -- In
Trey & Kate -- Trey 100%, Kate has exam but will be there eventually
Russ & Kesia -- a little while at the very least
Gee & Kate -- probably a no. Too many zombies & vampires in Raleigh
Robbie & Crissie -- dance recital in AM, but 100% @ pool & bringing infamous Texas caviar
El Tino -- working till 7, maybe @ Taproom
Greg & Melinda -- Will more than likely be there. Probably bringing the boy to Frankie's
Joel & Jenny -- (neighbors) -- there but pregnant. Joel = drinking.
Luke & his babies & baby mama -- Elena MIGHT go to Charlotte w. babies, otherwise the whole clan is in.

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

I am worn the fuck out.